Monday, September 29, 2003
Thesis submission part 2: Mission Accomplished
Today we submitted the defense draft of our thesis, all glorious 122 spiral bound pages of it, after toiling for two nights and days of only minimal sleep. Four copies of it, printed straight from Charlene's printer (which must've nearly conked out).
Charlene and I flipped through it, caressing each page with our finger tips, and cradling two copies each in our arms with victorious laughter before dashing off to the Comm office to submit it. We wanted to submit it straight to Andrew Ty (more like hurl it at him actually) but he wasn't in. We ran into Anjo however, and when he found out our thesis was 122 pages long (minimum requirement is 50 pages), he said "Grabe ha! Masyado kayong intense!". True, true. We could've chosen to do something way easier but both being die-hard, driven perfectionists, we had to go along with some complicated topic. Oh well.
We included "Kevin Roy" among other people in our thesis acknowldgements because we listened to nothing but Razorback while doing thesis, all three albums that I own ("Star", "Beggar's Moon", and 1 CD from their latest double disc).
My sister
Today, for the first time in my entire life, I have my own room. My sister finally moved into her new condo today. She's been bringing her stuff in this whole week, and little by little, pieces of furniture and various objects are suddenly missing from our room. The bedroom that we've shared since I was three years old has been in an overturned state for a week because she's been gathering her stuff.
I've wanted my own room, for ages and it's really going to be great having my room to myself. For one, it's HUGE. So huge that my sister could practice her floor routines in it back when she used to be a gymnast on the Philippine team. I can throw a party in that room, set up tables to comfortably accomodate about 45 people. Ever since she anounced that she had plans of moving out, I've been thinking of what color I want to have it repainted when she leaves, been spending class hours ignoring the teacher to draw floor plans for the new arrangement.
However, now that she has actually left (a few hours ago...I forgot to hug her goodbye because I was in such a hurry to get to class), I feel myself getting a little sentimental. I've shared a room with my sister my entire life. We've spent late nights whispering in the dark, reading out loud our journals to each other, or going down to watch DVDs in the dead of the night. We borrow each other's clothes (except maybe for the latter part wherein I became stingier with lending out my stuff... I think it happens when you start making your own money), we borrow each others' deoderant sometimes for heaven's sake!
It's only now that I'm realizing that she's not going to be as accessible anymore, that I can't just barge in on her anymore to tell a corny joke, or share juicy gossip, or rant about things that annoy me. I'm going to have to be calling her on the phone for all of that, and actually have to make plans ahead of time if I want to hang out with her. There'll be no more DVD nights, no more watching "Sex and the City" and Lord of the Rings for the millionth time. No more going down to raid the pantry for junk food on Saturday afternoons.
Sure, she had her annoying habits. She's blow dry her hair at midnight so the sound of the dryer would wake me up. She'd borrow my clothes and accidentally leave it over at her friend's house. She'd leave her makeup in a clutter on the bathroom counter, and leave traces of her eye-liner on my eye-lash curler so that it would leave a black smudge on my eye-lid everytime I'd use it.
But now that she's left I realize that I'm going to miss all those little things that you kind of take foregranted. It's not like she's moving away to Zanzibar, she's just in EDSA, but she's not gonna be around as much anymore. Sometimes she's the best person in the world, sometimes I really feel like I hate her, but I know I really, really love her. She'll always be my sister, no matter what, even if if sometimes can't seem to stand her. No matter how many friends you have, there's just no beating that sister-relationship.
I can totally relate to that Julianna Hatfield song, "My Sister" (the weird thing is, Julianna Hatfield never even had a sister).
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Sunday, September 28, 2003
Is this friendster thing going too far?
I was cleaning out my account, and I just found out in a purely accidental way that I've been "unFriendstered" by someone. I even clicked on that person's page to see if I was still on the list and I wasn't, meaning I was deleted.
What's up with that, man? They don't wanna be receiving bulletins from me no more?!
The ridiculous thing is, I'm actually a little hurt which I know is really dumb. It's not that it should mean anything right?
I mean, heaven forbid the day when Friendster starts having meaning! Has it gotten to the point that the act of unFriendster-ing someone is considered a manifestation of some suppressed hate or resentment? You don't even recieve a notice that you've been unFriendstered, so it's really like a secret diss to be unFriendstered. Like when waiters spit on your food. It's the most discreet way of telling someone you don't like them, or that you want to terminate relations with them... have them eventually find out on their own. Maybe they'll never even find out, which makes it a safe way to diss someone.
Anyway, back to thesis!!! Time to think about more important things.
I noticed that my past 5 entries have mentioned Friendster in one way or another. It's sickening.
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Saturday, September 27, 2003
Ala
I just got the strangest but most amazing message on Friendster. this girl whom I've never met asked me where my parents got the name "Ala" because that's
What she wants to name her soon-to-be-born little sister.
A little girl might possibly be named after me!
The weird thing is, Ala isn't even my real name. The name Ala was born when I couldn't pronounce my real name, "Angela", when I was just learning how to talk (not many people know that however).
I'm so used to "Ala" that I don't even really count Angela as my name anymore. It's just something on my IDs and birth certificate.
Since I kind of consider "Ala" as my primary name, I decided to look up what it meant one day. Came across two meanings:
1) Ala- a spanish word meaning "wing".
2) Ala- the African godess of beauty and morality. She is also the mother of creation and the most-loved deity in African mythology. She is honored every year with the yam festival. (I didn't make this up)
Not bad, eh?
One of our family friends already named her little girl after me actually. She was born on my birthday and so she was named Angelica, a variant of Angela.
Ding, ang bato!
I read somewhere that Viva films picked Regine Velasquez to be the next Darna. I am not pleased. It comes as coincidence that I wanted to write about my Darna costume today. It's really gotten around, considering it was meant for one-time use.
I hand-made the damn thing for a school project where we had to come up with a "creative pic". We then had to photoshop the picture (one of those pictures is now my Friendster userpic).
For lack of time to think of anything else, I used the costume again for my grad pic, my "creative pose". And since I didn't have time, and deadlines were near, I used the Darna pic for my senior's page in our yearbook CD-ROM.
Last Thursday, my OPM MYX writer Paul told me to bring my Darna costume. I did without asking why. He made me lie face down on a box, facing the camera with my arms stretched out in front of me, with a fan making my hair whip around. It was suppose to create the illusion of me flying. It was shot against a green screen and I suppose they'll put clouds in the background.
I hosted an entire episode like that. It's the most strenuous thing I've done in a long time. I felt awkward and I kept worrying about my underwear sticking out. Afterwards, I had a head ache and a sore back.
That Darna costume was meant to be just for me...but now I guess everyone's gonna see me in it.
Hmmm, maybe it'll give the people over at Viva some ideas...hehehe.
This is my "fat" angle.
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Thursday, September 25, 2003
Clarification re: last entry
I got alot of feedback from my last entry wherein I talked about strangers on the internet. I was reffering only to people on FRIENDSTER, people I have had no prior encounters with whatsoever (not even on blog, nothing). I bothers me that I cannot disseminate Friendster Bulletins containing information that I would like to keep within my immediate circle of acquaintanceship (such as email addresses and MSN IDs). I mean, what if I wanted to send out a bulletin saying something like "I've been diagnosed with cancer", or "I'm pregnant"? If I post it on Friendster, all these strangers on my list are going to read it!
On the other hand, Friendster is also a great campaign-advertising tool so maybe I should keep those strangers on my list...but then again, it's a different thing when there are more strangers on your list than people you actually know!
To my blog-readers, I wouldnt have made this a public blog if I didnt expect other people to read it, right? People are free to read this blog and comment as they wish. Blogging would be utterly meaningless if I knew noone was going to read it!
You see all, keepers of publlic Blogs/Livejournals/Xangas/Whatever will always admit to a certain secret-narcissism as the reason why they allow other people to read their entries. Blogging is narcisistic, just as art is narcisistic. I mean, how conceited of one to think that other would care about reading and commenting about your thoughts, your feelings!
And yet people do read and comment. Then the ego is fed.
Thank you all for reading and appreciating my journal :-)
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Tuesday, September 23, 2003
Friendster is becoming "Stranger-ster" (or "People-I-Dont-Know-ster"
I get so many strangers sending me requests and messages on Friendster. 90% of the stuff I get are from people I don't know. I used to approve them in the beginning, providing they were nice children or sweet highschoolers and not dirty, sleazy men trying to pick me up and sending offensive comments and jokes. But now i think it's gotten a little too far. I forget that all Friendster bulletins I send out are read by everyone on my list. Everytime I send out something "confidential" like an e-mail address or Yahoo ID, everyone gets it.
The worst are the ones who write messages that sound like it it is an honor bestowed unto me that they desire my friendship. I mean, what's up with that? I've gotten some strange ones too, people asking me to "show them around Friendster" because their new and they don't know how it works. Another one read something like "Hi, I read your profile and it seems that you are a kind person naman. If you consider me your friend, then I'll tell you more about me".
Whoa? I mean, how can I consider a picture and text on the internet a "friend'? What exactly do they mean by the word "friend" anyway? I mean what if I say yes and they start asking for advice and stuff or inviting me out to coffee.
And of course, there's the sleazy men... ugh! *shiver. I mean there was this one old guy who I think thought my user pic was some kind of sexual come-on. But then again, I guess the user pic was "provocative" to some people whose minds don't work along the same lines of humor as I. When he finally realized the pic was meant to be funny, he sent me a message saying that he "understood" and blah blah blah. I never replied to him again.
Right now, my Friendster inbox is flooded. I've gotten about 15 messages and friend requests today, all from people I don't know. I don't know what to do. I'll feel like a bitch for ignoring them but I just don't have the time and energy to treply to 15 messages from people I don't know.
***And yes, the Lucky Manzano on friendster with the naked userpic is the real one.
Aren't we cute now! :-p
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Sunday, September 21, 2003
I hate hating
I hate people who hate everyone because they hate themselves!!!
I hate hating people.
uh.... figure it out.
Karaoke with the Avenido Clan
Had dinner with the "in-laws" last night. It was just my luck because the whole clan was there and they had planned the night to be a Magic Sing karaoke marathon. And of course, they werent going to let me leave without singing.
I'm usually a total mic hog (my friends hate going karaoke with me because the mic never leaves my hand) and I can stay on my Magic Sing for hours and hours. But as I was with Nino's family, I had to practice prudence, and not snatch the mic from people, and resist the overwhelming urge to sing my world-famous rendition of Toni Braxton's "Unbreak My Heart". Also, the wine was flowing and I found myself a little tipsy and I sing like a drunk when I'm drunk.
Alas, they insisted that I sing. So after politely declining and pretending that I really didn't want to sing, I finally complied. After Nino sang "My Way" (walang nagpatayan, thank God), I dialed "Eternal Flame" on the Magic Sing and did my best to sing in a sober way, ignoring the throbbing of the red wine in my skull.
I was a little rough but I believe I pleased them with my little song number. I ended up doing "A Whole New World" with Nino, "Dancing Queen", and later on, a second performance of "Eternal Flame" (upon insistent public request...hahaha!).
I'm thinking now that I should hook up my Magic Sing again. I need to practice. You never know when these situations are going to pop up. Might as well be ready.
Makeover
On a moment of inspiration, I gave my journal a make-over. I was beginning to find those rainbow eyes gay. Now I have rainbow angelfish.
Aaah, the things I learn in graphic design class.
I'll be prettying it up some more once I have more time. (i.e. after thesis)
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Saturday, September 20, 2003
Number of times I've cried since last Friday:
1) When my friend said goodbye before migrating to Scotland
2) Before fighting with someone
3) While fighting with someone
4) When I talked to my sister about fighting with someone
5) When Nino wrote me an unexpected and seriously touching Friendster testimonial (is the whole Friendster thing going too far? My boyfriend just told me the nicest thing ever through an online 6-degrees of friendship website for crying out loud!)
6) WhenNoel Cabangon sang Kanlungan at Rakrakan last night. One of the veteran female artists there, whose name I will not disclose, told me that she secretly finds Noel Cabangon "so sexy"...even if he doesn't fit the conventional tall-guy standard. I can see why she'd say that, I mean I get the whole soulful artist thing.
7) When Ebe sang Mariposa (but I'm sure alot of other people feel the same way)
8) When Freddie Aguilar sang Bayan Ko. I had never seen him perform live till then and oh boy, what an amazing, amazing person! I've never seen anyone so intense. He's such a powerful performer and such an original. Now I know why he's so great. He was wearing black pants with about 50 zippers running down the length of it and these chunky black leather shoes (very 'metal'). I sat down beside him and he started telling me about his kids. Oh, I was so thrilled! I'm such a fan now.
Why I have been so emotional, I don't know. It's not even that time of the month. Maybe from all the thesis stress. Then again, music has always had that effect on me, even as a kid. When I was 4 or 5 years old, I use to cry whenever my dad would play classical music.
Speaking of thesis stress, I was awake from 9 am till 1:00 am the next, NEXT day, which means I was up for about 41 hours. The weird thing was, I felt great throughout the whole day (and I'm usually non-functional if I get less than 7 hours sleep). I kept awake thorugh the entire length of Monty Python's "Holy Graille", and was even able to host the Martial Law concert, RakRakan Para sa Kalayaan last night at the Makati Stock Exchange.
It felt great to be out of the house. Lots of good performances too, including Mike Hanopol who wielded a toddler-sized electric guitar like a master. The guitar was so small, it looked like a Little Tykes toy.
I love these old rockstars. They've transcended the ego and self-consciousness of their younger years and are just here to deliver great music and confident performances. Good musicians are like wine, they mature and become finer with age. I remember watching Sampaguita perform a couple years ago and found myelf blown away by this grandmother in a "cheleco" and love-beads, having a blast while wailing to the sound of guitars. Galing!
It would be cool to marry someone who will eventually age into a fine, old, respected rockstar (And no, this is NOT a referral to a certain someone. Although he may someday age in into a fine, old rockstar, only time will tell and who's thinking about marriage at this point anyway?!)
The shows finale included all the artists who participated to come together on stage to sing Handog ng Pilipinas sa Mundo for an "all-star" song number. Though I was not an artist,I somehow managed to be included on that list. Leah Navarro, the APO, Mike Hanopol, Freddie, and Noel C. stood in front and lead while we shy, younger people stayed behind them and sang. So there I was, holding my microphone singing on stage with all these Filipino music greats! Of course, everyone was singing including the audience so it didn't actually make a difference whether I was there or not. Still, it was a pretty memorable moment. :-)
I'm in love ...
...with the new MTV veejay, Denise. She's flat-chested (like me!), she's got a low, unfeminine voice (ahem), and she's funny, and weird and acts like she doesn't care without being obnoxious. I like her!!!
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Thursday, September 18, 2003
Aubrey Miles!!!
One entry before I embark on my mad 24-hour rush to finish my thesis (due in exactly 24 hours).
Just came from taping... Aubrey Miles came to the studio today to tape an episode of "Star MYX". I've always found the woman smoldering, and I always seem like such a lesbian when I admire pictures of her. I wish I could be that hot and pose naked on the beach, and in sexy lingerie. I've only seen her in person once and only for what must've been a split second.
So I was a little excited when they told me should would be dropping by the stuido today. She showed up in a big, white shirt, big silver hoops and...a tie (I guess she was going for the whole Avril Lavigne thing but the outfit looked a little confused).
I was also suprised to see how short she was (but then that's because everyone else only goes up to my shoulder!). Also, i think she looks a little better in pictures but hey, good make-up and lighting makes everyoone looks better in pictures.
She was a little aloof, and wasn't into the whole show-biz, beso-beso thing which made me glad.
She taped an episode of Star MYX, cackling every time she'd flub one of her lines...it was weird. I guess when you see someone posing naked or in lingerie all the time, you kind of expect them to talk...sexily. Aubrey Miles talks like your typical collegiala, not the conyo kind...maybe the tomboy, street slang kind.
What amazed me though is that she carried herself with the confidence of someone who knows she's hot, but has gotten over it, and uses her hot-ness not for vanity or self-gratification but to empower herself. She doesn't have that 'dumb' look that some beautiful women have. The girl rocks. I didn't say a word to her though.
I heard Heart bought and I-book just like mine (the smaller kind though). She's entering the realm of the techie! Good girl. :-)
I hear she wants to start a blog too.
Giz's Party
Here we are being malandi and trying to look like CK models as usual... I swear, all you gotta do is point a camera at these girls and they pose! hahaha! Love these girls :-)
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Wednesday, September 17, 2003
Damn. It's been such a turbulent three days. I've been dealing with thesis (which to this minute remains undealt with), graphic design class, these really painful blisters in between my big toe and middle toe, oncoming illness, and other things I didn't quite expect.
Treated myself out to a party last Saturday night wherein I had a much-needed evening with the girls.
Last Sunday we played the Mooncake game in honor of the Chinese moon festival. I won two ticket coupons to any movie of my choice in Ayala cinemas, a Starbucks coupon, and a Pochacco mechanical pencil with colored lead. Pretty boring prizes, considering last year I won the grand prize: a Yorkshire Terrier which I named Rocky (it's a horrid little thing that yaps at night).
I've generally been unwell. I havent looked healthy or blooming throughout this whole sem. My melanin production must be at a low because I look so pale which is unusual. I dont have time to make myself look nice anymore and now I'm sick.
Didnt get to watch Ninos HappyMeals gig in UP. He texted me to say that a band called "Sunflower Day Camp" dedicated a song to me 9I have no idea why or who they are but I'm kilig).
I'm tired and I know I''m just writing to procastinate.
I wish this would all be over so I can get a decent haircut, stay at home in my jammies to watch Monty Python's "Holy Grail", and "Life of Brian", listen to Razorback (my new soundtrip... can't get enough of those Kevin Roy vocals and grinding guitars), and get enough sleep.
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Sunday, September 14, 2003
Right now, men really and truly suck. Men are such dense emotional idiots.
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Friday, September 12, 2003
Affirmation
I've had a few fleeting yet meaningful relationships in my life, people who unexpectedly walk in, stay for only a season, and yet leave me deeply changed. People who stay only long enough to vindicate and affirm my existence, lifting me into the light, and making me feel that my being here is justified.
These people enter your life, walk into the dark, dusty attic of your soul with a feather duster, a mop, new light bulbs, and a step ladder, do some cleaning, and then leave.
These people are teachers in disguise, who remind you that you were always complete from the very beginning, that you are and always will be okay.
They know you for a short while but love you like they've known you forever...all just for being yourself.
Many times, the question of how I can possibly matter in this vast universe lingers in that unconscious, underlying part of me. Sometimes, I live in what seems like a peripheral existence-nobody really sees me, at least not for who I really am. How can I matter when I am like every other human being who will live and die without leaving a single trace on this earth, when there are so many people better than me, more lovable than me, more certain of themselves than me. I feel lost in this great swarm of humanity. I feel lost behind what people know me to be. When I try to search for who I am, I find that I cannot seem to grasp myself. I cannot see what is good or extarordinary in me and it seems that others, including myself, never really bother to penetrate me and look deeper inside me because all there is to see is the same old sordid attic, with the storage beginning to pile up.
Today I have been reminded of my goodness, of my grace. Today I have been reminded of my wholeness, my completeness, and all the beautiful things within me that I couldn't recognize for myself. I am, and I have made a difference. Someone has recognized me, has shown me that I am precious. I am worthy, therefore I am. This is the gift Carlos has given me.
I feel like I am made of light. :-)
We are all created good, lovable, and worthy.
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Thursday, September 11, 2003
Fakesters
What is it with all these fake people on Friendster, man? It all began with a fake John Pratts, and 3 fake Cindy Kurletos. Then of course there was that Twilight Zone experience I had with Ping Lacson on Friendster wherein he wrote me a testimonial. I now also have Ador Mawanay on my friends list but my most recent aquisition is...tadaa! Mike Arroyo! Complete with a picture of himself beside his beloved wife, president GMA.
He even wrote me a testimonial adressing me as "hija", and saying how much his grand daughter Mikaela loves watching MYX and to vote for his wife in the 2004 elections. It was a pretty good imitation and quite convincing really... very fatherly and first gentleman-ish. It's really quite funny how people actually take time out to create fake Friendster accounts and really maintain their fake identities.
But anyway, i've noticed that I've become a "Friendster-wraith" (like the Ringwraiths whose desire for the ring swallowed their souls and made them slaves to the evil Sauron). I log on to Friendster so often, it's become an obsessive compulsive thing! To top it all off,I'm managing Nino's account as well since he's not really the Friendster type but I want him to join. I approve all his friends and testimonials for him and reply to all his messages. He's been on Friendster for about 2 days and already has 53 friends! Damn! Talk about Mr. Popularity.
Nino lent me all his Razorback CDs!
Yahoo! Now I can move on to the next level of fandom, from poser-fan, to real fan.
Speaking of Nino again, he broke his hand and he can't use his ring and pinky finger. So now he's a one-handed, and 3 fingered bassist. He even showed me his X-ray. It was weird looking at a picture of my boyfriend's bones. Now I know what he looks like without skin :-p
Nostalgia
I've been going through this nostalgia thing lately. I've been returning to all the cartoons I used to watch as a kid in the 80s. It's something I've liked to do every now and then actually, ever since my sister came home from the states 5 years ago wearing a Rainbow Brite tanktop. With that picture of Rainbow Brite riding on Starlight came a flood of memories, and since then I've made sure never to lose connection with those 80s cartoon memories.
Lately, I've bee downloading 80s cartoon themes. I have the Carebears theme song, Rainbow Brite, Transformers, Jem and the Holograms (my favorite!!!), Ghostbusters, Ninja Turtles, He Man, Smurfs...even Bioman and Shaider. I even have theme songs from old family computer games (Contra, Ninja gaiden, and of course, Mario). I plan to complete my 80s theme collection.
I also have wallpaper of Jem, Shaider, and Takeshi's Castle!
I suggested to Nino that he shoud get his progressive rock band, "Electric Lola Project", to cover the Contra theme song since it would sound so damn good played by guitars. It has this really fast bass rift (is there such a thing? I dont really know my music terminologies) and even faster lead guitar and it just sounds really cool. The band already covers cartoon theme songs anyway like Transformers and "Under the Sea" (of course it sounds really metal when they play it) so I think Contra would be a cool next step. I'd dearly love to hear that done.
Damn, I'm such a wannabe rocker chick, really. Why don't I just pick up a guitar and learn so I can do that sort of shit on my own instead of waiting for other people to do it for me :-p
Thesis deadline moved to Friday!!!! Weeeeee!!!
Life seems so much brighter all of a sudden!
What else happened today....
Had work today and had the singer Jay-R on the show as a guest. He's a nice and funny guy and really an awesome singer. He sang me some Stevie Wonder and I like any guy who can pull off a good Stevie Wonder.
I also bought a copy of this magazine called Bare. It was the very first issue and I wasn't even sure what it was about but I bought it anyway coz it had a really hot picture of Aubrey Miles on the cover. She is so gorgeous.
There are two types of Aubrey Miles fans: Men who want to screw her, and women who want to be her/look like her. I am one of those women. Damn, what I'd be able to do with a figure like that.
Here's a pic I drew of Jem!
Lecheng trackpad na iyan!!! Hirap gamitin!
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Wednesday, September 10, 2003
There were two more bats inside my house last night. Our houseboy beat it to death. :-(
I remember how much I used to love the Kidpix program on our old Mac. Now I have Appleworks which is kind of the same I guess. Got bored in SEC this morning and started doodling.
AAArggh. Still trying to master the track pad. Why do i always end up drawing thin, lanky women when I doodle?
On a happier note...
Baka manood ako ng F2 sa Saturday!!!! :-)
Maybe I'm not an F4 fan but I will allow myself to be one if I get to watch/meet them.
yay!
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Monday, September 08, 2003
A Humiliating Confession of Frustrated Fandom
This post is for Ms. Ina Santos who reads my blog everyday. *wink, wink* Thanks for the nice picture of Razorback.
Razorback is having a gig at 70s Bistro on September 17.
A band with mind-blowingly talented people whom I admire beyond words and yet hate at the same time.
Well no, hate is a strong word, and I used it for lack of a better term. More like my ego is wounded because on every occasion that I've had to interact with Kevin Roy, he's been such a masungit, unapproachable person who most probably doesn't like me. Why? I don't know. Maybe he thinks I'm some ditzy, teeny-bopper, pop veejay for a music channel that plays only F4 and pop music instead of rock music. I don't know. It frustrates me...I mean, how can he not like me? I'm a nice person, almost everyone likes me :-p The nerve of him!!! Probably the only wrong I've ever done to Kevin Roy is deliver a spiel with inaccurate info about his world-stage sideband during the last Fete dela Musique (even then it wasn't my fault! I just read the script, godammit!)
What wounds the ego even more is that I know that I don't make any strong or special impressions on him. He doesn't dislike me or ignore me in any way different from the way he dislikes/ignores everybody else (and apparently he dislikes/ignores quite a large number of people). I am simply, by his own choice, someone who blends into the woodwork. He doesn't give a rat's ass. I probably don't register into his everyday, surface-consciousness, and he has no idea that hidden within the ditzy, teenybopper MYX veejay exterior lies a burning love-hate fan admiration for him. He has no idea that I'm typing this on a public on-line document (unless he decides to search for his name on the inter-net a la Jules Ledesma).
How can I fully realize my Kevin Roy fandom under these circumstances? It's hard to like someone who doesn't like you. I mean, wouldn't you be somewhat crushed if you were an avid fan of say, F4, and then you found out they didn't like you?
I am admitting it now, I have a love-hate fan admiration for Kevin Roy. He is so damn talented. He's one of those people whose attention you want to be worthy of, even if wanting to be worthy of it subordinates you.
So I really want to go see that gig, but at the same time, I know I'll probably sit in the darkest corner of 70s Bistro, far away from the stage where he won't notice me. I'll face the wall, with a bottle of beer and pretend I'm not listening to them. Unless I take Nino along with me, because he's good friends with Kevin Roy...but Kevin usually just talks to Nino and ignores/barely acknowledges me even if Nino has his arm around me which typically is a position that should obligate him to include me into their conversation. Haaaaay. Of course, I'll pretend I don't care and I'll ignore him too. Haaaay.
Bats
I mentioned in a previous entry that ants have been crawling into the crevices of my computer (apparently it's coz they like the heat, thank you Migs for the information). But now my house is becoming infested with bats.
Nobody knows how they get in, but there were four flying around inside today, 3 the other day, and 1 the last. My mom orders the maids to kill them which makes me sad...I love bats. I've always had a strange fascination with them and their good animals. I consider them a sign of goodluck.
I wonder how/why they get into our house though... maybe someone attracts them.Maybe someone in our household is actually a vampire and the bats come in to communicate with him/her. I suspect it's my sister. She's awake all night and sleepss during the day and she says she's been feeling "ill". Probably feeling the effects of the transformation.
And now my ma is ill too. How about that? It's spreading!
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Sunday, September 07, 2003
What' up with all these ants crawling into the teeny spaces between the keys on my key board? I've noticed alot of ants just generally being attracted to my computer lately, and all of my other elcetronic gadgets too. I catch ants creeping into crevices on my mac, my phone, and even my I-pod. Weird. I just hope they don't do any damage in there.
I had a dream about Paul Mcartney the other night. I dreamt the remaining 3 Beatles (George was still alive in the dream) came to my old highschool to play, with no security, no guards, nothing. So we could all just reach out to them and touch them. In the dream, I went up to Paul Mcartney and told him I loved him.
Oh, and Stevie Wonder was here, too. He was waiting backstage.
Thesis is due in a week
One week more
My tito gave me the cutest lamp hehehe. It's in the shape of a naked kid and his head lights up. His teeny-weeny peepee is the on/of switch! hehehehe! you can flick it up and down :p
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Saturday, September 06, 2003
AAAAAAHHHH!!!!
Putangina! Ping Lacson made me a testimonial on Friendster! Putangina!
I added him as my friend as a joke coz I think he's fake right? But he made me a tesimonial! It said "Tell people who watch your show to vote for me on the 2004 elections". Is he for real?
that's it! No more playing around with Ping on Friendster
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Wednesday, September 03, 2003
Naz's New Makeover!
It's been awhile since I wrote a tinatamad-tamad entry. I think my entries say too much sometimes, like maybe I make people think when they really don't want to think. Well today I don't want to think but I feel like writing a bunch of incoherent paragraphs.
I can't believe what an enormous amount of time Friendster takes up. Masama na talaga. here I am trying to get my thesis done (yeeesh) but instead I log on to friendster and write testimonials! I can't wait for thesis too be over so I can start living real life instead of my inter-net life.
I had a momentary break last night though whenNaz picked me up to go to Starbucks, Katipunan. it was my first time to see him since he arrived from the US a couple days ago. Spending three months in LA has definitely made him more laid back. I mean this guy used to dress in morbidly-colored polo shirts, dark jeans, and black, leather shoes EVERYDAY. Not to mention the Goth-ish jewelry and the long hair.
Last night I was surprised when he picked me up in a T-SHIRT!!!! I've known Naz since I was a freshie and not once have I ever seen him wear a t-shirt. The T-shirt was still black but it was Pokemon one and the letters were briight red and yellow ("Charizard") and that is a very big step for Naz. Aside from the shirt, he also had RED SNEAKERS and sported a pre-mullett (a hairstyle that is almost a mullet. It needs to be a couple inches longer in order for it's mullet-ness to truly manifest itself). So absolutely un-Nazlike. Who would've thought those Americans would mellow him down? Is that what happens when you stay in the "Land of the Free"?
As a result of Naz's presence, I feel my bitch-manyak side stirring within me. Being around Naz makes me swear more, bitch more, and talk about sex more. When Naz was away, that part of me sort of went into hibernation but now it's back. hahaha! He brought his I-book and his firewire cord and made me bring my I-book as well so we could firewire things to each other. So we hooked the laptops up and spent about 10 minutes waiting for something to happen. Nino explained later that we didn't have a driver or whatever you call it.
So I spent a couple hours in Starbucks with Iea, Manny, Cory, Oats, Dave, and a couple other people I just met. Nino followed bearing gifts: pair of orange-tinted shades with heart shaped frames, amd a toothbrush shaped to look like a rabbit.
This morning he surprised me again by calling me at 6am (the time I wake up for school) and saying that he was on his way to my house to take me to school! I was too groggy to show how happy I was but I'm hoping he will read this blog and find out. :-)
it was a pretty wretched day to be in school though with the strong rain, not to mention how tired I was. On my way to the SocSci building, i amost stepped over fresh roadkill, a frog whose guts were spilling out of it's mouth. The car had run over it's middle and it regurgitated it's own guts...like when you squeeze a toothpaste tube. I wanted to be back home in my bed that instant.
Went to ABS today wiith Charlene my thesis partner to distribute surveys for our thesis. Turns out you need a permit and all blah blah yakkity yak. We were pretty pissed because the other day, they didn't tell us we needed a permit, much less a letter from our teacher. Luckily, we ran into some MYX people who upon hearing our story said "pooh", took our surveys from us, and said they'd have the people who work for ABS distribute the surveys for us and that we didn't even have to go through all that arte. Thank God. As they say, all you need are connections, connections!
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Monday, September 01, 2003
Let's be friends with Ping! Ping is our friend!
Since senior year started, I've built a large portion of my life on the internet. I devote all my time to e-mailing, blogging, surfing forums, and recently, Friendster. It's amazing who you manage to dig up (and vice versa) on Friendster.
However, I had a twilight zone experience on Friendster yesterday. All of you out there who are familar with Friendster know that they regularly display newly registered people on your Friendster homepage, faces and names noone really gives a rat's ass about. Yesterday however, I was quite startled to see Ping Lacson's face staring up at me on my friendster page under "New People". Under his picture was the name "Ping".
I know people regularly get on the inter-net to spoof, or pretend to be famous people through blogs and live journals. However, candidates for spoof blogs are usually celebrities, not senators... especially not dangerous senators whose former hitman just came out on "Isumbong Mo Kay Tulfo" last Saturday confessing all of Lacson's dark, and dastardly deeds.(Did anyone see that episode? Yeesh, after watching, he seriously terrifies me.) But even if I was still feeling the after-horror of Kit Mateo's confession, I clicked on his picture and visitedPing Lacson's Friendster page . All his information seemed very Ping-ish:
Name: Ping
Interested in meeting people for: Friends, Activity Partners **(hmm, potential hitmen perhaps?)
Age: 46
Occupation: Senator
Location: Philippines
Hometown: QC
Interests: massive anti-drug campaigns, PNP modernization, anti-terrorism
He even had three "friends" on his friends list and one testimony.
Then I started thinking, "This is crazy! Why would Ping Lacson take time off his senatorial duties to log on Friendster to meet new friends?". So I thought, hey, even senators use the inter-net. Even senators want friends. Maybe he wants to get in touch with old PMA friends, or maybe he's using Friendster as a campaign tool. Let's all be friends with Ping!
So I sent "Ping Lacson" a message saying:"Is this some kind of joke?"
I really wasn't expecting "Ping" to reply at on that same day but a couple hours later, as I was lazily organizing my Friendster account, I saw that Senator Lacson had replied. All the message said was:
"What do you mean?"
EEEEEEEEEEEK!!!!!!!!!
I don't ever want Ping Lacson getting in touch with me for anything! Not even "hi"! I don't ever want to meet him! What if he doesn't like me, what if he hates MYX and decides to send his hitmen over to liquidate me! AAAAAHHHH!
Yes, I know it's probably some sick dude pretending to be Lacson but Damn! That alone is enough to scare me.
Ramon Magsaysay Awards
Aside from that, i also attended the annual Ramon Magsaysay Foundation awarding ceremony at the CCP. For those of you who are unfamiliar with RMF, they are Asia's answer to the Nobel Prize, centered only in Asia but just as prestigious. They are financed by the Rockefeller Foundation, and awarded Mother Teresa and the Dalai Lama way before Nobel even heard of them. Other people who have been awarded are Nick Joaquin, Ravi Shankar, Chief Justice Hilario Davide, Cory Aquino, and a hundred others.
My dad is on the board of trustees, a group of specially chosen men and women who are in charge of picking through hundreds of nominees per year to choose at least six great, self-less, and heroic individuals whose lives and works have done great things for their nation and society. Since the awarding ceremony always falls on my dad's birthday, he considers it his birthday celebration and takes the whole family along (and this year, he invited Nino too). President GMA arrived late in very loud, electric pink shoes. This year, 6 people won including Shiela Coronel who set-up a organization that acts as a watchdog for the Philippines press; a simple obegyne from China who discovered the aids epedemic and launched her own awareness campaign; a Japanese doctor who set up free medical services for war-victims in Afghanistan (Taliban country); a lawyer from East Timor who gave free legal advice and services to the opressed and violated; and other amazing men and women.
The awarding was followed by a gala dinner with yummy food, flowing wine, and cultural dances.
The point of this whole entry is that I want to show a cute picture of me and Nino all dressed up in formal wear. Yes, it's cheesy to post a pic of you and your boyfriend on your blog butRaymz did it on his journal . Unfortunately the pic is still on Nino's camera so you'll have to wait.
So I went a little crazy on Quizilla
I am a sucker for internet quizzes, surveys, and other things that waste your time. I discovered Quizilla today and through a series of tests discovered that results consistently display opposing sides of my personality: sweett versus sullen
You are every goth-kids dream! *** I know I can be a sullen person but I didn't think I come off as this bad!!! No wonder I always feel like I have an attitude problem when I'm around sweet, sunny people!
You have a surprise kiss! Your partner is always
pleasantly pleased to have you jump outta no
where to dote them with a fun peck on the cheek
or more passionate embrace. super markets and
work places are your favorite places to attack
your loved one with all your love =p
What kind of kiss are you?
brought to you by Quizilla *** Okay, this can be considered true. Although I have had to refrain lately because... well...
-Perfect- You're the perfect girlfriend. Which
means you're rare or that you cheated :P You're
the kind of chick that can hang out with your
boyfriend's friends and be silly. You don't
care about presents or about going to fancy
placed. Hell, just hang out. You're just happy
being around your boyfriend.
What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla *** Oh yeah, now this is true! hehe. Whatever flatters the ego
You're Christina Ricci. Beautiful.
What sexy girl are you
brought to you by Quizilla ***There goes the sullen-ness again! I was kinda expecting Kate Hudson (kapal ba?)
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