Monday, May 31, 2004
I enrolled in driving school today. Boo.
It's non refundable too so there's no escape. I have to learn how to drive or else it means throwing away the enrollment fee. I was going to enroll last Thursday but cowered upon hearing the price. Finally my mom said she'd pay for all of it. That's how long overdue I am.
Everyone tells me that I don't need to go to driving school to learn how to drive, that I should just get someone to teach me for free. The truth is, I do know how to drive, and if I had to drive somewhere in an emergency, there's a 60% chance I'd make it there alive, and completely unscathed.
But I don't practice. I haven't driven in a year, not since that infamous driving lesson Nino gave me that came out on "MYXed Lives" last year.
So what I'm actually paying for is the discipline to learn how to drive. God help me. The thought of having to drive around in this country doesn't appeal to me in the least. But we can't always rely on our boyfriends, can we?
They gave me this nifty envelope with a very thick driver's manual inside.
my little nightmare night
My mom and I went through a living nightmare last night when we heard some glass break downstairs. We were the only two people in the house, late on a Sunday night (or rather, early morning, about 2 PM). She came over to my room to ask if I heard it too, then she locked my door before going back to my room.
Needless to say, I got incredibly paranoid. Every nerve in my body started tingling, and every single one of my senses was jolted into alertness. My mom and I were in two, separate locked bedrooms with the possibility of an intruder prowling around in the darkness of the first floor. Every single one of my childhood nightmares suddenly came alive. All those stories I watched on the news of men entering houses, robbing it bare, raping the women, and massacring whole families flashed vividly in my mind. It was a quiet Sunday night after all, and noone was on the look out.
How was I supposed to relax?
I didn't even dare open my bedroom door. I kept listening for footsteps, and looking around my room for possible makeshift weapons. Could I wield my electric fan like a club? What about my chair? My Lava Lamp? And then ah, the can of Mace I carry around with me! I picked it out of my purse, lay on the bed, and by the light of my bedside lamp, clutched the Mace with my finger on the button... just in case.
After about ten minutes of waiting in paranoia like that, my mom texted me to ask if I wanted to sleep in her room. I said yes, then realized I had to go down the hallway alone to get to her room and told her never mind.
She texted again to say that she'd feel better if I slept in her room.
So I went. I brought the Mace with me and we double locked her door.
I had a bad sleep because the bed was uncomfortable, and woke up at 10 AM with dark circles under my eyes.
We looked around the next morning to see what glass had smashed. We couldn't find it. We're still looking.
It was probably just a rat going through our pile of storage. But it sure gave us a scare. After all, you never know about these things.
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Thursday, May 27, 2004
premonition
I finally returned to CRIBS today but this time around, I brought Jonaks so I wouldn't feel so lonely and out of place. As it turned out, the volunteers actually outnumbered the kids today. The place was a little saturated. Usually I'm the only volunteer there, and it gets lonely.
I witnessed Jonaks work his magic on one of the toddlers. This kid is a little bit of a loner. He's kind of sullen, and bullies the other kids when he wants their toys, but he doesn't do it alot. Also, he hits people for no reason, as in he'll go up to you and *whack*. He also doesn't like alot of attention and doesn't like to be picked up and fondled like the other kids.
I saw Jonaks eyeing this kid and I warned him that he was about to deal with a kid with issues. He thought about it for a few seconds before going, "Kaya ko iyan".
Later on in the afternoon, that kid was laughing out loud and allowing himself to be carried by Jonaks. Galing! Those two had a connection, man.
There's one little girl there who cries everytime you put her down and pretends to collapse, and thrashes around just so you'll pick her up again. There are a gajillion different toys in the playroom but she'll drop any toy she's holding when she get's a glimpse of her favorite one: talcum powder. She loves talcum powder. She saw a pile of it on the floor and she ran to it and started rolling, slipping, and sliding in it. Funny kid.
I on the other hand allowed myself a little time with the crawlers today, those that haven't learned anything beyond rolling over and sitting up. They're also less complicated than the toddlers, because the toddlers all have personalities that you have to figure out. Crawlers are pretty much happy with love, nurturing and cooing. I played with this adorable baby girl who was just the cutest thing ever.
I was on the play mat, lying on my back with the baby lying face down on top of my chest when I looked to the left and caught a glimpse of myself on the wide mirror that they keep at ground level so that the crawlers can look at themselves.
I saw my reflection, me on my back with a baby lying contentedly on my chest, and was a little taken aback at what I saw. It was my reflection, but there was something premonition-like about it. The girl in the mirror looked a little older than I imagined she would. She had a baby on her chest. She looked like a mom. I found myself thinking, "That's me?". I looked like a mother, and for some reason the whole picture just seemed...possible. It looked...right.
Weird, huh? Every woman decides whether or not she wants children someday but she also wonders if it will actually happen, if they'll have the time. Like alot of women, I want to have kids, but I also want to write that award-winning novel/screenplay, form a kick-ass band, cut an album, be a rockstar, be a good cook, make movies, be a psychologist, create and sell paintings, conquer the world, feed the hungry, clothe the naked, repair people's lives, attain Nirvana, lead the masses to enlightenment, and what-not. With all that, you start to think, will it be possible to have your cake...and a kid too?
Well, my little moment today was a little vision of the future. I will have kids.
But not in the near-future, mind you.
No, no, no. Already, the newest generation is springing up sooner than we all planned. Makes me feel really old. I can't believe it's all happening.
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Tuesday, May 25, 2004
Wherever I go, I am a bag of tears trying not to spill myself.
There are some things in life you can't possibly plan for, but wish you had at least tried to anyway. Especially when you know it's bound to come. Especially when it's happened before.
Bleah. Don't mind the post.some demographics
According to survey results (and I'm assuming only the serious readers actually took time out to fill it in):
My oldest reader is aged: "ancient"
But the oldest reader who gave a real age is: 32
My youngest reader is:15
Most of my readers are in the early, middle, and late 20s age bracket (I at least attract an audience my own age).
Most readers stay logged on for an average of 2 minutes.
This site gets an average of 200 hits a day.
Not bad for my little site. I didn't even know anything about HTML when I started. I still don't know much actually. I'm still using a modified, old, free Blogger templates. I never expected this site to be so... frequented. I guess the whole coming out on TV helped word of this site to spread. Who doesn't want to pry into TV people's lives? Admit it. :-p
But I'm glad it's the entries people keep coming back for. Besides, I don't do TV anymore.
It would be cool if I got some really older people interested in this site. They could comment on my entries and say things like "Hija, ganyan talaga ang buhay. Noong bata palang ako...".
I think a few of my older relatives pay a visit sometimes. Then there's my father of course. Anyone in their 50s out there?old oxford crush
I found my old crush on the internet.
We were Philosophy classmates back in Oxford. He was this short, skinny Muslim guy with a bowl hair-cut who was a smart ass, and was really mean and obnoxious to me all the time.
I acted like I hated him (and I really did), and my friends didn't really like him, and I got into more than one petty, playground argument with him. But I secretly liked him in a "hate" kind of way. How juvenile.
Anyway, he really was very smart. He was a Law Major, while I majored in a more ditzy course: Drama. Philosophy was our minor.
On our last day of Philosophy class, knowing that we would all soon separate and go home to our countries, he suddenly became very nice. Our teacher had taken us out on a "Philosophical Walk", where we went "punting" (aka rowing) on the Thames (on the side: There was an old urban legend that you could contract rat syphillis from the water... is there even such a thing as rat syphillis?), and all had ice cream in an old-fashioned ice cream parlor.
Anyway, back to crush-boy (I refuse to type in his name for fear he is one of those bored people who likes to surf for his name on the web), he became very nice to me all of a sudden. No obnoxious remarks, no insults. He walked beside me the whole time, telling me he thought I did a great job in my Drama class's Shakespeare play "Cymbelline". He put his arm around me like we had been buddies all summer, and he kept taking pictures of me.
And later on that night, at the ceremony when I was named "Most Outstanding Student of Drama" in my course (along with two other students) I saw him stand up and clap out of the corner of my eye when I went in front to get my award. He also won "Most Outstanding Student of Law". I went around to find him so I could congratulate him and when I finally found him, I could kind of tell he had been looking for me too. We both said "Congratulations", and then here comes the good part, from completely out of the blue, we hugged each other. HAHAHAHA! Very awkwardly of course, and very rushed. We were only 16 year olds.
We didn't hang out anymore after that but he was still very nice to me all the way until he had to leave for the airport. I heard from him on e-mail once or twice afterwards. He was a busy guy.
I researched him on the internet out of curiosity and found a bunch of articles about him. I found out he ended up in Princeton, and he's a journalist, who likes to write about Middle Eastern conflicts, and alot of deep, political stuff I don't think alot about. He's also one of those student leaders. :-p He's still smart I guess.
It would be amusing if we crossed paths one day.
Posted by
Sunday, May 23, 2004
Thursday, May 20, 2004
This entry might bore you...
I've decided to spend the remainder of summer bonding with old friends, and today I met up with two of my old highschool lunchmates: Charlene (who was my thesis partner in Ateneo), and Pam. We had lunch and coffee out in Kaitpunan but somehow ended up at my place.
I felt like doing something we had never done before, so I asked if I could give them both make-overs. They both agreed, surrenduring to the power of my makeup brush. The results were stunning.
Here we are at Baci having coffee. From the left: Charlene, Pam, and Me. I guess this can serve as the pre-makeover picture.
Pam came first. The only times I ever saw Pam made up was during our junior prom and senior ball. But that was back in highschool were we all didn't really know a thing about makeup so that doesn't count. Pam is usually in jeans and a t-shirt and likes to tie her hair back because she finds it too big and poofy. I've always liked it though. It makes her look so wild and untameable.
I've always thought that Pam had really regal features. She has an aristocratic nose a la Barbara Streisand and Cleopatra which gives her a unique profile. Also, she has these wonderful deep-set eyes, and wide eyelids. Perfect for putting makeup on. I gave her an old-fashioned, aristocrat look, with Audrey Hepburn eyeliner. I wanted to bring out her classic beauty.
We made her were pearls and a shawl. She looks like she's from another century, the daughter of a rich Spanish family. As Charlene described it: "Parang yung anak ng may-ari ng cotton plantation".
I was going to give Charlene a very modern, seductive "rawr" look but decided to go ethereal instead because she was wearing this airy, white hippie shirt. I painted her entire eyelid blue, and green and gold. I didnt't give her any eyeliner but I went heavy on the mascara, top and bottom eyelashes. I gave her a pink, cream blush, and painted her lips the same color as her as her skin. The results? She ended up looking very avante gard in a pokerfaced, Japanese kind of way. Yoko Ono-ish. Too bad the camera could'nt really capture it. Must work on lighting.
I was really disapointed when the camera wouldn't capture all the colors around her eyes. But I love her straight-edged, Japanese-y look
I just really enjoyed seeing people I've known forever and ever become glamorinas for an afternoon. They were really good with the camera too. I'm so proud of them! :-)
Charlene says that when I'm applying makeup on someone, I totally start talking and acting like a gay man a la chuva-chuvaness. Ahhh, well. That's what it does to you.
I cut my hair...
...and I totally regret it.
My hair was nice and long and mermaid-ish. Exactly the way I always wanted it. The damn stylist layered it in the back and cut off more than I asked her too so now it's poofy. I just lost that untamed, woman-from-wilderness look that took so long to cultivate. Now I look so...tame....and young. Aaaaaargh.
well, the new cut isn't really that bad and I wouldve liked it about a month ago. I just wished I hadn't touched it today. It was already okay before. At least it's still long-ish.
Grrrrrrr.
Must be my kharma for that cut I gave Conrad.
make yourself known
I copied this idea from Mich Dulce.
I want to get to know the people who read my blog. :-) Please fill out the survey below in the comment box.
1) Name or nickname
2) Show where I can view a picture of yourself
3) How old?
4) Location
5) Have we met? How did we meet (where? when? what were we doing? and most importantly, what was the condition i was in when we met! sober, drunk, intoxicated andalottachoochoochoo) Do you want to meet?
6) Favorite bands?
7) top three things that you're interested in
8) Are you gay or straight? Male or female?
9) Working or not working? What's your work like or what do you do all day?
10) Are you single? in a relationship? married? Any kids?
Posted by
Tuesday, May 18, 2004
attention span radio 1
I've said it before and I'll say it again. I am so into Attentionspanradio.net. Those of you who haven't yet discovered the wonders of streaming radio, visit the aforementioned URL and see if you can make a connection. If you're a Mac user, just click on the iTunes radio, go under the jazz heading and click on "Attention Span Radio 1". It plays awesome music all day round, but be sure to catch it during the day because at night, all the Americans wake up and tune in, and it get's harder for free listeners to do so.
It's basically instrumental jazz that leans more towards the rock/funk side. Meaning, it's very heavy on the bass, alot of very rapid bass slapping, with very groovy drums, and some killer guitar solos every now and then. Some piano, too. Masaya siya. Like those "Weather Report" report CDs my dad has always had lying around the house, but I didn't start appreciating them until last year when Nino and my dad both discovered that they both worshipped Jaco Pastorius.
They play alot of live performances too. Love it, love it.
I've spent the whole day copying down their play lists so I can stock up on these artists. Some of them I've always known and some sound vaguely familiar: Marcus Miller, John Patitucci, Herbie Hancock, Steely Dan, Mahavishnu, and of course, Steve Vai and Satriani. The others are completely unheard of, like Airto Moreira, Jack Dejohnette, Garaj Mahal, Lee Ritenour, Geogre Mcrae, Pat Metheny, and Chico Hamilton.
My computer has been on for about 4 days and I just leave it tuned in to Attention Span Radio. Can't get enough of it.
Wow. I'm totally promoting them. They should give me kudos for this.
A couple days ago, I wrote in my journal that writing about music is always a little nerve-wracking because there will always be one or two "purists" or self-proclaimed music experts who will come banging angrily on your door screaming that your terminology is all wrong and that you are a poser... just because you can enjoy a type of music without having an encyclopedia definition of it in your head.
Pfft.
troy
Nino and I used to fight everytime we'd watch movies because I like to critique it as soon as we step out of the cinema.
Well... I don't mean to nitpick, see. I just naturally notice things like bad dialogue, or lousy acting, or bad costumes, or bad direction, without meaning too. You can call me pintasera but I call it good taste.
I'm not going to talk about how the movie was unfaithful to "The Illiad" because I don't know how "The Illiad" goes anyway.
Whoever directed the movie was obviously very inspired by LOTR. Some of the scenes were just too familiar (and I'm not talking about Orlando Bloom shooting arrows here). In fact, there were so many scenes reminiscent of LOTR that it made me think "Hey, I've seen that trick before". Peter Jackson definitely started a trend when it came to epic battle scenes, just as the Matrix influenced all movie action scenes that came after it. Like LOTR, Troy displays shots of swarming armies, like ant colonies, sprawling across the Trojan shores. The difference is, Peter Jackson did it FIRST. With Troy, these scenes got kind of old after awhile and made it seem like such an LOTR wannabe. There were other scenes that got me confused as to which movie I was watching, LOTR or Troy?
I don't really want to enumerate them because you'll see what an insane fanatic I am of LOTR. Besides, if you were an insane LOTR fanatic too, you'd notice these copied scenes without me pointing them out.
Some of the battle scenes were obviously staged...I mean, duh, we all know it's not a REAL battle scene but could've they made some oof the action sequences look more...real? Maybe It was the camera angle or something.
Brad Pitt was hot though. He has the whole rugged man thing going on. And he gets naked more than once which makes the movie NOT a waste of money.
And Eric Bana certainly redeemed himself from his big Hulking mistake. I like him now.
Posted by
Saturday, May 15, 2004
the last night of allen's wake...
...felt like Woodstock. There were about 400 people at the church parking lot, sitting on the ground or leaning on their cars. There was beer and plenty of rock and roll as all of Allen's friends took their place in front and made music. There was a full band set-up, drums and big speakers and all. Greyhoundz, Slapshock, and Cheese even performed. People wore t-shirts with Allen's face on it, and Allen buttons. It was a wake fit for a rockstar. Some of the more conservative people may have found it irreverent but it was exactly the way Allen would've wanted it.
I think it was Bong and Fhitz who put this up. Candles for Allen.
In the meantime, the area around Allen's casket slowly turned into a kind of shrine throughout the 7-day wake. Aside from the flowers, around his coffin were all 1 dozen guitars from his collection, a display table cluttered with his shades, jewelry, mini guitar and AMP figurines, song books... everything he loved. His favorite pairs of cowboy boots, and his favorite green and yellow tsinelas were on display too.
Left:3 of Allen's 1 dozen guitars. Right:The guys made the flower formation in the back, shaped like a double-necked electric guitar, the kind Allen always wanted.
It was really an amazing show of love from all the people who knew him. It was the most special wake that I've ever seen put together.
He was buried this morning at Loyola Memorial. Alot of his friends came dressed in 70's garb, and the hearse that took his remains to the area blared the Beatles Anthology. They didn't leave out even the tiniest details.
mwehehehe... >:-)
I suppose this moment had been a long time coming. I suppose it was brought about by some sort of kharmic law. I supposed all the fandom vibes I've been sending out summoned this moment to myself. Perhaps I somehow helped the future to conceive this moment.
Or maybe it was just my absolutely shameless, effusive gushing that finally, and unavoidably brought it about. Those who have been my readers from the start will know who I am talking about.
The lead singer of my favorite pinoy rock band talked to me last night!...Well, it was like two sentences, pero... pwede na yon! Hahaha!
Siyempre, ayoko pang sabihin yung pangalan niya. Ngayon pa ako na-diyahe. As if I haven't written fan-entries galore on this blog for the past year. As if I haven't reduced myself to the very lowest levels of fandom indignity so many times on this site. Parang namang hindi ako nagpakapal ng ke-dami-daming nang beses.
Sa wakas, naramdaman ko na ang hiya. Maliit nga lang naman ang mundong ito.
You all know who he is. If the band has ever searched for themselves on the internet, then he knows who he is too! So, it was both a fan moment, and an "oh, shit" moment. The kind of moment that got me all excited to go home and write about it on my blog, and to my thesis partner Charlene.
I noticed that he had very strange pomada hair. Nakatali sa likod pero yung harap, parang yung kay Elvis. Ooh ye.
But like I said, it's no surprise. I suppose all this shameless fandom just had to peak in some sort of culminating moment. l How can I NOT eventually talk to him after I have been so brazen, writing fan-adoration entries on my site? I guess it doesn't matter anymore.
It's nice to be a gushing fan. Everyone should be a gushing fan of someone else. It just makes life more exciting. :-)
Posted by
Thursday, May 13, 2004
Conrad's new haircut
My friend Conrad would rather save a hundred bucks worth of haircut money to let me cut his hair for free. Never mind that I have no practically no experience with cutting hair. We both benefit from the arrangement though. He gets to save money. And me? I get to experiment!
My original plan was to give him a very sculpted, very angular Gil-of-Streetfighter type of haircut. But due to my obvious lack of experience, I ended up giving him "Nerd hair"= with an angular "bowl" layer on the front and sides. Punk naman siya eh, so he can do the nerd thing. Besides, it goes with his famous, trademark glasses.
Conrad and I became friends when I agreed to dye his hair bright red for him at my house, even though he was a relative stranger then. Now I give him haircuts. The last time I cut his hair, I took turns with my friends Sara and Trina. And for some reason, he came out looking... exactly the same! This time I wanted to a real change.
Does he like it? I don't know. Either way, he asked for it hahahaha.
You can catch him and his band, Boy Elroy, at the Fete dela Musique at the rock stage.
Posted by
Monday, May 10, 2004
annoying people
"Masyado siyang maganda/gwapo para sa girlfriend/boyfriend niya. He/ she could do better than that."
Arrrgh. I've seen this mentality present in so many Filipinos that I finally decided to write an entry on it.
I hate people who think that a couple's levels of physical attractiveness should match. It's as if they have this mental heirarchy wherein those deemed goodlooking deserve to be only with others of "their own kind". They're awfully narrow minded and it certainly reflects their superficiality in their criteria for assessing a person. And even when they do decide to look beneath the surface of the one deemed unattractive, they take his/her's positive qualities such as kindess, talent, or brains as a kind of compensation for his/her supposed lack of physical attractiveness.
Bullshit. Kindness is kindess, no matter who it comes from. And if a person acts like an asshole, then he is asshole whether he's goodlooking or not. And love is love no matter who you share it with.
I especially hate it when they say that man or woman could have "done better" by selecting a more attractive mate. The crassness of the statement never fails to offend me. It's as if the object of securing a mate is to have an attractive trophy to dangle on your arm, as opposed to loving another person.
allen's wake
I've never seen a wake so lovingly arranged. Allen was surrounded by the things he treasured most. On top of his coffin were pictures of all the Allens that lived, Allen the rockstar, Allen as a fresh graduate with short hair, Allen as a little boy, Allen on the beach. Beside his photos were his favorite tye-dye sando, and a jewelry box filled with all the friendship bracelets, necklaces, rings, and all the junk he used to love to wear on himself. Mixed up with his jewelry was a baby shoe. His favorite white cowboy hat, and his scarves hung from the coffin's lid.
All around his coffin were his three electric guitars. Nino picked up the most battered looking one and began to strumm it softly, showing me where the casing had falllen off from the time Allen surprised everyone by smashing it during a performance, and another time when he had set fire to it.
Leaning against the battered guitar was a worn, but lovingly preserved Songhits, with all Beatles songs.
Allen was dressed in his favorite, white "Elvis" outfit that he once wore to the NU Rock Awards, but it didn't look like him because his hair was so neat.
watched "School of Rock" last night.
Greatly enjoyed it!
Posted by
Sunday, May 09, 2004
Today Greyhoundz played their first ever gig without Allen, at Admit One, Freedom Bar. It was the saddest, saddest gig I've ever been to.
The crowd was silent. No yells, screams, or cat calls. No jumping. Everyone either closed their eyes, or just watched intently with set jaws. Some bowed their heads from time to time. Some looked like they were going to cry.
Before the first song, when they were setting up, I thought I saw Allen on stage and for that moment, it seemed like a completely normal thing to see him there. Until I remembered. It turned out to be Audie in an Allen hat and Allen shades.
Vince of Twisted Halo introduced Greyhoundz by requesting everyone to stand, and clap. People clapped, each clap in unison, one beat. Clap, clap, clap. The solemn kind.
They performed. To anyone who didn't know any better, it would've just seemed like any old Greyhoundz performance, but a good observer would've been able to sense how emotionally charged, how absolutely intense the guys were. Their faces gave it away. An unusual twitch here and there, eyebrows slightly too furrowed, lips slightly too pursed, eyes closed a little too tightly. Hair falling over their faces, maybe a curtain to keep emotions private.
It was watching Audie that made me cry. He and Allen were both the guitarists, and so they were partners in that respect. Tonight he had to play alone.
Some of the songs reminded me of a mouth with missing teeth, like a big chunk of the music had been bitten off, a layer of it removed. "Puppet and Clown" sounded unusually bare. It was to be expected of course but it made everyone sadder.
At the end of the final song, people clapped, and trickled out of the bar, save for a handful of people who knew Allen: Greyhoundz, Greyhoundz roadies, friends of the band, Cheese. They stayed behind and leaned on each other and grieved together.
I cried too and I went off so nobody would see me. Because if anyone had the right to cry, it was the people who knew Allen best, and to cry with them seemed like an intrusion on their shared grief.
On the side of the stage:
Allen's guitar, hat, scarf, shirt, some incense, and empty bottles of gin and Red Horse
Thursday, May 06, 2004
Today, Allen Cudal passed away in a car accident. It came as a complete shock to everyone.
I didn't get to know him as well as the others, pero nalulungkot parin ako. He was always the nicest, and I was always happy to see him. Lagi kong sinasabi kay Nino na paborito ko siya sa Greyhoundz.
What I loved about Allen was that he always had some new gimmick with how he dressed, and how everytime Greyhoundz would play, clothed in Lee Pipes, Allen would show up in tight bell bottoms, a vest or a jacket with nothing underneath, a hat or a scarf, bandanas around his neck and arms, and tons of jewelry. Fearless talaga. Buhay na buhay. He always stood out. He loved all the drama that came with being a guitarist on stage. He'd jump around, kick the air, toss his hair. Ibang klase talaga si Allen.
During Greyhoundz gigs, when I'm forced to stand alone on the sidelines with the digicam, most of the shots I took were always of him because they always came out great. He'd cut such an interesting figure, and his stage antics really made all the difference.
I meant to write an entry about Allen week ago after the Pulp Summer Slam because I wanted to share my latest batch of Allen pictures. I pushed the idea aside then. Now I think it's really the right time.
This was taken around middle of last year at a gig in UP.
This was at the Summer Slam last Friday. Left: Allen plays guitar like a violin. Middle: he decided to perm his hair that day. Right: rok en roll!
And here he is on the right-most, with Audie and TJ at Nino's surprise party
Grabe. You have no idea how much this guy is going to be missed.
Posted by
Wednesday, May 05, 2004
puerto gallera highlight
Nino was jamming away at Coco Aroma last night when I decided to go off by myself for a walk. I positioned myself on a bench by the bonfire, facing the ocean. I was drifting off into a reflective moment when this stranger went up to me and asked me to hold on to a pair of wet shorts.
He started off casually chatting me up, asking me where I was staying and all, where I went to college, yakkity yak.
Then he goes "Maam, pwedeng hawakan mo lang toh, maam. Tapos pwedeng huwag mo po ibigay sa may-ari? Kung dumating siya, pwede po kayong tumakbo sa loob ng resort niyo, po? Sige na, maam!"
"Ha?", I said.
"Sige na po maam"
"Ayoko nga! Para san ba toh?", I said.
"Basta lang, maam. Sige na po. Pwedeng itago mo lang po?"
So anyway, I kept refusing for a good ten minutes...I didn't really know what was going on and I wanted to get back to my quiet, reflective moment. Also, there was no way I was going to touch someone else's wet shorts. Who knows where those shorts had been?
Finally, I grudgingly agreed to let him plop the shorts beside me on the bench, but I didn't really know what for. The guy scampered off. The wind blew the wet shorts unto the sand, and I gingerly picked it up with thumb and forefinger.
About ten minutes later, lo and behold, there was a butt-naked man walking some distance away from me.
"Hoy!", he yelled to his friends who were nowhere to be foun."Nasan na?"
He was naked as the day he was born. Apparently he had gone skinny dipping and his shorts were in my custody.
He faced me and began to walk towards me, both hands covering his privates. I, of course, didn't know where to look. How can anyone help staring at a naked stranger walking towards you? At the same time, I was embarrassed so I'd look at the fire, and then at the sand, and then at him, and then at the ocean... in other words, I was doing a ridiculously poor job of pretending I didn't notice him.
When he was about 5 feet away from me, he said "Maam, magpapakapal nalang ako." He snatched his shorts with one hand (almost revealing his jewels) and ran off into the darkness (giving me one last good glimpse of his ass).
Well, I was left on the bench laughing, then Nino came out to join me about a minute after naked-man left. He totally missed it.
Posted by
Sunday, May 02, 2004
of childbirth
I sat in on my sister's lamaze class today since she listed me down as alternative lamaze partner if in case the daddy can't make it (or passes out). Today we watched a birthing video, complete with stage by stage 3D computer demonstrations of how the baby gently turns around, drops, and comes out. They also showed an actual live birth. *dies*
My God. I must've had my mouth open the whole time and I think my eyes almost popped out of their sockets. It's so...freaky! Specially when the head comes out...it doesn't even look HUMAN! The baby comes out blue like an alien and is covered in blueish, whitish gunk. It looks like something I wouldn't want to touch. And the vaginal open is just so...BIG! My God! I always knew it was possible but actually SEEING it stretch like a rubber band, beyond what you think is possible, is just... DIFFERENT!
And contrary to popular belief, there is no blood in the actual delivery of the baby. The blood comes from when little capillaries bursting in your cervix when it dillates and tears... and dilates to up to ten centimeters! My God!
Then after the baby comes out, the placenta follows and it's the size of a dinner plate, and blueish-white as well. OH MY GOD! It's so disgusting.
My poor sister was even more affected than I was, I mean she's the one who's going to have to give birth soon. She was so overwhelmed that she started crying. Kawawa naman.
I'll just never view my body the same way ever again. It's like a combination of "eeeewwww", and "wow"! I mean wow, I'm a woman, and women's bodies can give life, and nurture that life, and deliver that life through this awesome, sacred, passage. It's a big gaping vagina, and it's hairy and unsightly, but it's also this sacred opening in the universe where life passes through, a doorway that opens to deliver life into the world. That's just so amazing. I'm too awestruck to even phrase my thoughts well.
And it's painful, and icky, and absolutely disgusting, but it's also incredibly wonderful, and ... amazing! The female body is just so...equipped! Wow. That just changes everything.
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