Friday, March 31, 2006
Paredes OFW
[edited] If the video is down, then it's undergoing revision and should be up again within the day :-) [/edited]
After two weeks in the making... finally it's here!!!
The idea began when several people (strangers and close friends) told our family that a reality show should be made about us a la"The Osbournes". Another person once told us that our family was like a cross between "The Brady Bunch" and "The Adams Family". Yep, we're an eccentric bunch. Right before we left for Australia, somebody jokingly said that it would be very entertaining to watch us adjust to normal, everyday life in Australia because since we had never had to do chores in our entire lives, it would be like watching the notorious Paris and Nicole show, "The Simple Life".
Bottom line is: we got the hint. Also, we get bored here sometimes, and it's a shame to see the DV Cam in the corner collecting dust.
Introducing episode one of our reality show (drum roll please)...
Click above to watch it on YouTube.
I'm trying to find a better way to broadcast it as video-streaming really degrades the picture and I worked so hard to make the little graphics like this:
Click on it for the bigger image.
I will find another way because it sucks when people can't see your cool graphics. Any techie geeks out there who want to help me?
Anyway, don't forget to watch out for the super cool theme song, "So Far Away" at the beginning of the episode, composed and performed by none other than the talented Jorel Corpus, the "Funxotic Sambista" of Kjwan, and The Happy Meals!!!
Also, don't mind some of the crappy and over-exposed shots. It's only our first episode :-p
Maybe there will be an episode 2. ;-)why? basta.
I just got another set of comments and e-mails asking the same question I spent the last 6 months of my life in the Philippines answering: "Why are you leaving?". It's usually followed by "Have you lost hope for the Philippines?" or something to that effect.
I will say it once and for all. I'm tired of answering it. I know that to many people, my father and the Apo are icons of Philippine nationalism, and this is why everyone seemed to have something to say about leaving. Some people want to see it as symbol of the state of our country. I've heard people say that if someone like Jim Paredes has decided to leave the Philippines, than it must certainly mean that our nation is now a hopeless cause. Others have made it out to be that we are one of the "selfish" elite fleeing the sinking ship.
Yep, everyone had something to say about it, until my dad finally came out and made a public statement about it in the Inquirer, and on his blog. (For the umpteenth time, here is the link to said blog entry.)
Folks, we are officially tired of answering that question. :-) Right now, we are here (finally) and are trying to settle in. No, it is not because the Philippines is a lost cause (in any case, that would be up to you to decide). Also, we are not "abandoning" the Philippines. However iconic my father is, remember that he is still a father and we are a family, and have reasons amongst ourselves to migrate to another country.
I will not get into a long rhetorical speech on nationalism, and patriotism. Mahal ko ang bansang Pilipinas. I hope to do something for her some day. But when you're 22, single, and given a limited offer to expand your world, and your mind, and experience what life is like in another place, you say YES, and you don't look back. When you feel like your life isn't challenging anymore, that it is making you weak, and complacent, then you go somewhere more challenging if you have the means. Because at age 22, I can always go back. If I fail, then at least I tried.
If in the end I pick the Philippines over Australia, then my commitment to my country will be a stronger and fuller one because I'll know it is my choice. I figure that any I choice I make is better than being one of those Filipinos who feel forced to stay in the Philippines, and do nothing but complain all the time.
In the meantime I am meant to be here for a reason, one that I will maybe discover soon.
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at 5:37 PM 78 Comments!
Monday, March 27, 2006
our boat
On reason why I am glad to be here is that I feel I have finally broken out of the culture and society that was making me a perpetual child. Alot of Filipino kids are spoiled, lazy brats, and at one point, I was one of them. Not only was I one of them, but I thought that I was living a good life that way.
I'm not talling about the throw-a-tantrum kind of bratty. I'm talking about the lazy, non-commital, self-entitled kind of bratty. The underlying kind of brattiness; the kind that afflicts even the nicest, most charming, seemingly mature people.
Here is how I used to be. I saw myself as an artist, who was therefore entitled to more free time than others to grow, and discover the depths of my *ahem* artistic soul. I didn't want to get a "real job" because I felt the responsibility would impede me from my own artistic and creative growth. And yet, despite all the free time I had, I spent much of it frying my eyeballs on my computer screen, listening to the same old mp3s all day, surfing the same websites, and chatting about the same bla bla bla with whoever was online. When I wasn't on the internet, I was lying in bed staring at the ceiling and thinking about what an unfullfilled person I was, or napping until I got hungry. Then I would go down and have someone make me food. I would complain when people would ask me to do something that didn't benefit me, or that took me away from my soft bed, and my computer.
A year and a half of my life was spent doing mostly this. To alot of people, it sounds like the life, and I thought it was, too. I measured the value of my life based on how much rest and recreation time I got. I now realize that it was an incredibly self-centered way of thinking. It was also a tad self-righteous, and it was turning making me lazy and useless.
It is good for all of us to be rudely awakened every now and then, be forced out of our comfort zones, and discover that we are useful.
I had to do chores for the first time in my entire life when I sailed on the Greenpeace boat last year. I know, it sounds ghastly. But before you write me off as another Paris Hilton, you have to understand that many Filipino kids are born into a culture of having maids do everything for you.
I wasn't very excited about waking up at 7:30 am every morning to do chores at first. But I will never forget the morning when I accidentally overslept and skipped chores, thinking that nobody would think anything of it. I got a light scolding, of course: "So Ala, are you just coming along for the ride or what?". It was half-meant, but it did manage to make me feel absolutely ashamed. I realized that while I was onboard that ship, I had to be a contributer. People relied on me just as much as I relied on them. You have to do what needs to be done, and when you're doing that, you have to see what else needs to be done, without anyone asking you. You have to be sensitive. You have to be awake. And eventually, I realized something for the first time in what seemed like a long time: I could be useful. I had two hands, and I could use them. I had a brain, and I could do what needed to be done without anyone asking me.
I was only on that boat for 6 days, but it awakened me from slumber. When I got back to my household and my maids who did everything for while I was growing up, I felt like I was being treated like a child or a cripple. I also realized that I had never cleaned the house that I spent 20 years in, that I had never had to worry about it leaking, or falling apart, or getting dirty. I knew nothing about my own house. It also made me wonder why I could be so helpful on a boat I didn't live in, and yet always be so grudging whenever a member of my family asked me for help.
I knew life here would be different, and before I even left, I knew that I had to come here with a different state of mind. It's just us now. Life is going to have to be different. Chores are now a part of my life, not something I have to squeeze into my life. It's not a burden. It is simply a part of being a mature, dependable person.
What I love about being here is that I truly feel we are a family, running this household together, as a team. I even told my dad the other day I felt like we were a "real" family for the first time, dealing with real family things. Yes, it gets uncomfortable, and sometimes it's hard to tear myself away from my soft bed, or from my computer, or my music. But when I get up and clean, I know I am dealing with rock-solid reality- real life. This house isn't going to magically clean itself, while I sit in a trance-like state in the pseudo reality of the TV, or the internet, and all these other distractions we feed ourselves with.
Sure, I may be too tired to wash dirty dishes. But if I don't wash the dishes, what will the people I love eat out of? If I don't do my part, what kind of house will we live in? I can't just leave the baby's diaper unchanged, the sticky stuff on the floor unmopped, and the laundry unwashed. I can't think just about myself anymore. This is our boat. We have to keep it afloat.
There is empowerment in taking responsibility over these seemingly little things. There is dignity in labor. And at long last, I am growing up.living on kindness
I cannot stress how the kindness of other people has made our move so much easier. Left and right, we have people offering to drive us around (we are all unlicensed here and we have no car), help us get papers fixed, lending us furniture (because our house is empty), inviting us to dinner, or taking us out so we don't feel so lost and lonely. I didn't expect to have so many people looking out for us (and neither did I expect these particular people to be so helpful), and I cannot stress how much gratitude I feel towards these people.
I want to thank them here whether they read this or not.
The Santoses: tito Rod, tita Delia, Brian, Tracy, kuya Alvin, Jun-jun, and Alex, for treating us like family and being our crutch during our first week when this place still seemed so big, scary, and new.
Edge and Monica Sicam-Gutierrez, just for being family :-) And making us feel that home isn't so very far away. And thank you for the useful advice.
Tito Obet for so enthusiastically offering to drive us around, help us do groceries, lending us chairs, and just being so sincere in his intention to help.
Our next door-neighbours, tita Lila and Paul, for inviting us over, driving us around, and for being such warm and friendly neighbours.
Jace and Marty for driving all the way down from Canberra to visit me. You instantly made Australia seem less scary, more friendly, more conquerable. :-)
Lucy , Ron, and Grizelle for always inviting me out, showing me and my brother around, and just making us feel that we're not absolute freaks here. You don't know how much I appreciate it. And thank you for always picking me up. :-)
To tita Eileene, tito Henry, and family for driving us around, inviting us to a Sunday picnic, and letting us into their beautiful home (which we now covet).
Many of these people helping us out were once new immigrants themselves and still remember what it must like to be lost and a little bit scared and unsure. May good kharma come their way. And when it's my turn to help someone, may I remember to be just as altruistic.things i have learned about living in Oz
Anyway, here are some things I've learned about living in Aus:
1) The more kawawa you are, the more moolah you get from the Aussie government; as proven by the case of my sister who gets 700 plus AUD a month for being a single mother while I, young, single, educated, and un-handicapped, get nothing (at least not for the next two years).
2) The more you don't care about trying to fit in, the more you do.
3) Aussie driving is for wimps. Too much discipline here! All those beautiful, stretches of road, no humps, and you can't even speed! Bah!
4) I don't look Filipino (daw), I sound "American", and I look like I'm in high school.
5) Pancit Canton, Boy Bawang, Datu Puti, and Sky Flakes are sold for twice the normal price in Asian Foodstores.
6) The racial stereotyping here is actually quite funny, even if you know the jokes on you.
7) I'm not sure my nickname is going to work here. Whenever I tell people my name, they think it's "Allah" and start thinking all these other things. I'm afraid I might offend people. Maybe I'll go by "Lala" or something. I don't know. :-ppictures!
see me pump gas for the first time. Hahaha!
ARRRR! The vikings have arrived!- at the Maritime Museum
Me and Lucy being tourists.
She used to model for Penshoppe with me. There's the opera house in the back.youngblood
One of my readers said I got published in Philippine Daily Inquirer's "Youngblood" section yesterday. Wow. Cool. I don't even remember what I wrote, ha ha. I submitted it more than a month ago.
So I got online and found the link to the article. It's been edited... to tone down the brashness I suppose.:-p
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Wednesday, March 22, 2006
blogging in a hurry
Well, what can I say… I’M HERE!!! Yep. That’s right. I’m here. Finally.
Now what?
I’ve just moved from one state of disorder to another, from my chaotic house in Katipunan, to, er… my chaotic house in Australia. Correction, I have not yet moved into my chaotic house. At the moment, while we’re working on acquiring basic needs (appliances, food, mattresses, etc.) we are bunking with some very kind, very hospitable family friends who seem to have taken us in as their own. They, along with some other very, very kind Filipino immigrants have been feeding us, helping us, and taking us around. I never expected to meet such kindness and generosity here. Iba talaga ang Pinoy.
We’ve been at it for a week, shuttling back and forth from Woolworth’s (oops, I mean, “Wooly’s”), Target, K-mart, Bing Lee’s… they’re all starting to blur together. At the end of the day, we have dinner and watch “Pinoy Big Brother” and whatever else is on TFC. We talk about Keanna, Budoy, and Rustom, and Rico (ousters na siya!!!), and who we think is going to win. Then I wait for my turn to use the bathroom. Then I go to sleep.
Sorry, I will not pretend that my life here has been interesting (if I even have a life yet). I’m still getting used to suburban living, to the silence, and to places being so mind-blowingly far away from each other (the distance to some shopping centers is the same distance from Manila to Laguna, except there’s no traffic so it only takes 20 minutes). I don’t know if I’m cut out for the suburbs. I miss Loyola’s dynamism, and how every single service you’ll ever need can be found on Katipunan road. Growing up on a university belt was wonderful. There was just so much creative energy there.
Well, there have been a few interesting things here as well. I’ve been asked if I’m American 5 five times because I have a “Yank twang”, which I know is not so. I take it that foreigners who speak good English, but don’t sound Aussie, or British, or Indian, are automatically though of as Americans. All the same, the job I might apply for (which I will not speak of right now) wants me to take an English proficiency test- wut? Loko. I guess most immigrants have to go through this, though.
Last Sunday, my friend Jace (who went to the same high school and university as me) and her boyfriend Marty drove down from Canberra to pick me up and show me around. We went to Coogee beach for chish-n’-fips (hehe), downtown to Circular Quay, and to Paramata (I think) for some Asian food which was yummmmmm. I was so happy to see a familiar face, meet people my age, and just be in the city! I, of course, was tempted to have my picture taken with the Syndey Opera House in the background but I reminded myself that I live here now and that I really should refrain from doing such tourist-y things. It was a really nice day! The face of Australia seems a little bit friendlier after Sunday.
I shall narrate the last week of my life in the Philippines in photographs. I thought I’d have loads of things to write about, but instead I find that I’ve already said everything there is to say. I’ve said goodbye to dozens and dozens of people. I’ve experienced every single kind of goodbye moment there is; happy goodbyes, casual goodbyes, tearful, tender goodbyes, and downright heart-wrenching, heart-breaking ones. I cried so much, laughed so much, and experienced significant amounts of stress. I never want to pack a luggage again in my entire life.
So here is a very brief, very shallow recounting of the week before I left home.
At the Del Monte plantation in beautiful Bukidnon!
Imagine pineapple fields as far as the eye can see! Bukidnon was absolutely breath-taking. Hands-down one of the most memorable trips I've ever been on. Pineapple fields forever!
Nin and I trying fire poi for the first time!- picture by Bea Acosta
That’s me and Nino at my despedida, fire-dancing to the samba beats of our bateriya, Brigada! Oh, how I miss samba practice! Thanks to “Master” Paulino, and to Cat and Pao for coming over with the fire poi to make my party extra bright!
Yep, the party was excellent, but what made me happiest was being in the glow of all the people I loved, and letting them know how much I care and how grateful I was to have them be part of my life. I was so happy, and I think it was the perfect way to say goodbye. Namaste!
My Paredes cousins!
I can’t imagine not living in the same country as these people. We’ve always been a team. We’re family, man! I’m going to miss them so much that I haven’t allowed myself to think about it.
My last guesting on MYX with Lucky!
I was literally tricked into coming to the studio for this! Though I wanted to, I didn’t think I’d have time to drop by and say goodbye to the MYX staff anymore. Thanks to careful conspiring between the MYX staff and Nino (he told me we we’re going to Timog for dinner), I found myself at ABS-CBN last Friday facing the cameras one last time, guesting on an episode of “My MYX”. It was a good thing I decided to dress decently that day. It was great seeing everyone, and it was a good closure. :-)At the airport- can you tell I had been crying all night? ...and finally- Aus!
Our house.
Such a far cry from the bohemian house I grew up in. It looks so Pleasantville!...and Coogee Beach!
Me, Jace, and Marty in our *ahem* “sunnies”!homesick
I got my first real bout of homesickness last night from listening to too much "Sugarfree", and hearing that all the people who were ever close to my family were all gathered at our house to see my brother, sister, and father off (me and my mom left a week early). Home, home, home. This place is not home yet. All the same, I am excited to discover this new place.
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Tuesday, March 14, 2006
If walls could talk, you would tell the story of my childhood, of a little girl with curls running through your hallways and doorways, sometimes stumbling, bursting her lip once when she tripped on the step in the terrace, crying, being picked up by yaya (it's hard to remember which yaya it was), being carried, and nudged, and led by many different pairs of firm but loving arms: mama, papa, and also Nita, Kristy, Bebeng, and the blur of faces of the household help that have come and gone through the years.
From the 3-year old I was when I moved here, you saw me turn 4, then 5, then 6, then 7... a flurry of birthday cakes, birthday candles, and birthday games. Many times you have watched me leave. You saw me leave for my first day of school, and eventually became accustomed to me leaving everyday. You saw me leave for my first real trip out of the country when I was 8. When I grew older, you would see me leave with friends, then even later on, boyfriends. You got to know each of their faces, and even now, your walls, your corners bear imprints of them. You saw me leave many, many times, but always, I would return.
In a few hours you will see me leave for the final time. I will not be returning, not for very long, and when I do return, you might not recognize me. I might be so far away from the little girl whom you saw grow up. But maybe you will see my hair and remember. Twenty years I have lived here. Twenty years have I laughed, and cried, and suffered, and grown, and celebrated, and loved, and lived under this roof. Twenty seems like a good number to end things with.
From the moment I ride the car later and pull out of the drive-way (for one last time), I know nothing will ever be the same. Even if I return to you, your face will have changed. For leaving this house behind also means leaving the kindred souls who have also found themselves a home in this house, friends and neighbours whom my family always took in. This house was a gathering place. Just as we always seemed to have room for one more (or two, or three... or five!) at our tiny dining table, this house taught me that no matter how impossible it seems, there is always, always room in my heart for one more person.
This day is a funeral, an ending. I'm leaving my childhood behind. It is all I've ever known, but not all I will ever have. I'm leaving the house behind but maybe I'll take the home with me.
***
I've had 6 despedidas, and I want to write about all of them when everything settles.
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Monday, March 06, 2006
and thus ends another phase in my life
We all knew from the very beginning it would be short-lived, that we had a time limit, and that it would all end in March. We still went on with it anyway. I did it because I felt I had nothing to lose and could only gain from this experience; try out my wings, overcome a creative block, face a fear, and bring me a step closer to a more long-term dream.
In the span of seven months, we were able to play about 35 gigs, including the Muziklaban, a guesting on TV, and some well-attended big-productions which were far more than I ever imagined. I asked God for a tiny, tiny slice of a certain kind of life I wanted and got a much larger piece of the cake instead!
Though we never voiced it out loud, spirits began to flag within the final month, maybe because we knew it was impermanent and time was running out. I for one already felt dettached, not just from the music scene, but from many things I knew I was leaving behind. But we decided to try and give our last gig our all.
Despite practicing before the gig itself, we still made mistakes and we laughed it all off. I don't know if it was our best gig, but we enjoyed ourselves, and got to say thank you to people who always supported us. But the best part was seeing all the people who came for us, and giving back to them.
Despite my ear infection and partial deafness (thanks to scuba diving), it was a good, and utterly exhausting night.
I was already exhausted even before I went on stage!
Thank you to the people who came, to all the waiters and bartenders in 6Underground who always encouraged us, thank you to my bandmates, and thank you life! :-)shameless self-promotion
What the heck, I am leaving in a week anyway. :-)
If you're you're up late on Tuesday night, there's going to be a feature on me the show Pipol March 7, airing around 12 midnight after "Insider". The theme is "children of the movers and shakers of EDSA 1" so I will be featured with a few others. I probably said some really incoherent things, but watch anyway. :-)
"Romancing Venus, Volume 2" will finally out this month! It features various prominent women "performing" poetry by Kooky Tuason. Some key people to watch out for on it's second edition are Senator Loren Legarda-Leviste, Mich Dulce, Aimee Marcos, Pinky Amador, Karel Marquez and yours truly, among others. It will be available it at Lulu Castagnette (Glorietta and Megamall), Gloria Jeans Coffees (Glorietta), the I Love You store, and Powerbooks (Shangrila and Greenbelt). By April it will be in Tower Records and Music One.
March is Women's Month, so this will make a great gift for the women in your life that you love and admire. All proceeds go to the Women's Crisis Center.
[edited]
I passed by the NU 107 station last night to get my complimentary copy of the album from Kooky who was guesting. They gave me a little impromptu interview and played my track on air. *Kilig!*
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