Sunday, May 28, 2006
Amen.
Today was a very bad day. But Dada cheered me up. We've been teaching her how to say grace before meals. Remember, this kid isn't even two yet. She can speak semi-complete sentences, but can't really recite poetry or anything.
So at tonight's dinner table, we tell her, "Dada, it's time to pray".
She makes sure everyone's hands are in prayer position. She points at everyone seated at the table one by one. "Ala, pray. Mio, pray. Nanay, pray.", etc, etc.
We do the sign of the cross, "Father, Son, Holy Spirit, Amen." She always gets confused watching everyone do it while trying to follow, so she ends up touching her forehead at the word "Father", putting both hands over her heart at the word "Son", puts both hands on her shoulders at the word "holy", and puts both hands back on her chest at the word "spirit". She gets "Amen" right, and clasps her hands together.
"Ok, Dada. Say the prayer."
She's obviously feels put on the spot. Her eyes dart left and right. She hesitates, before saying "Deew God (Dear God)".
We all repeat, "Dear God" to encourage her.
She's silent for a few seconds and I can almost hear the little wheels in her head turning furiously. Finally, she says in a very soft voice, "Habby berday to you. Amen."
I laugh so hard that I start crying.
Then she does her funny sign of the cross again (it's always different every time she does it). We make her repeat the sign of the cross several times, just to see if she gets it right, but it ends up looking like the Macarena.
I don't know which prayer I like better, tonight's prayer, or her very first one which went:
"God, god, god... Amen."sunset over the 'burbs
Ever since we went to the World Press Photo Exhibit 2006 at the NSW library, I've gotten inspired to start using a "real" camera again. Feeling photographer na ako ngayon, hehehe. I wish. There was a time when I was almost seriously into it.
I took a photography class in college under Pancho Escaler, because I realized that my little point-and-shoot, though a good camera, wasn't going to get me the pictures I wanted. (This was during the time when majority of people were still actually using film).
When my photographer dad found out I was taking the class, he lent me one of his SLR cameras and even bought me TADA- my own lense. I think he got excited. So I learned the very basic stuff from Sir Escaler, and tested out my new skills when I went to Angkor Wat that year. After a week, and about 8 rolls of film, I went back home and excitedly showed him my prints.
He remarked that they were "good"- meaning they were sharp, and had good black and white tones, which I took to mean that they were boring, safe, and too "textbook". Ok, so they were "good" shots, but they they weren't all stunners. I owed the few stunners in the batch to the subject of the photo, and not the photographer mismo. It's hard to not take a stunning shot in a place as beautiful as Angkor, but now, now, maybe I'm being too hard on myself. There were some really pretty shots. Anyway, he also remarked that I should pay more attention to my cropping because I tended cut my subjects in almost-correct places, almost correct but not quite.
I picked up the camera again almost a year later when I went to Africa, and came back with ten rolls of more "good" shots: sharp, good lighting, but nothing unique. Nothing stunning. Bleah.
So... then came my first digital camera, made for average consumers like me. At last! A chance to actually preview my shot immediately after it's taken! A camera that could erase my mistakes and give my every shot a second (or third, or fourth) chance. It was also sleek, light, and fit comfortably in my jeans pocket. Plus, along came *gasp* Photoshop!!! My best friend.
I had many adventures with my little Sony T1 and my Mac, both of which are the reason why my beautiful shots are beautiful. (I cheat!)
But I believe that a good photographer doesn't need Photoshop (or at least not alot of it). Also, my little T1 doesn't make me as satisfied as it used to. How am I going to join World Press Photo with a Sony T1? (As if!!!In the first place, wala namang nangyayaring gulo dito, so wala akong mako-kodakan kundi "footy" at saka horse-racing. Wala akong pakialam sa mga kabayong nakikipaghabulan! Although... maraming mga gwapong football player :-p) And that's why I'm trying to figure out my dad's old digital Canon D60. I'm like a child fumbling with a toy. It definitely takes better shots than the T1, but guess what, I still use Photoshop anyway. :-p
Here is the best of my first attempt.
Sunset over our street. I lightened the houses which is why they look kind of fake :-p
The camera was on a different setting with this one. Intensified the colors a bit.
Lightened the rooftops, tweaked the colors
I'm not a great photographer but I can proudly say that I am a very, very good photo editor, or so they say. Magaling ako mandaraya!
Okay, in case you're wondering, the whole point of this post was to give myself a reason to show those three pictures. From now on, I will be posting my occasional attempts, with hope that it gets me somewhere.
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Sunday, May 21, 2006
sapin-sapin
I wish I had been a better photographer when I took this.
On a cloudy day, a family feasts together on the rooftop of what is now a slum dwelling.
The structure they're on is the remains of their house that was gutted by a massive fire last New Years 2005. It was taken from the window of Nino's first floor condo along Boni Serrano Avenue. All I had was my point and shoot and the photo went through some editing before it looked sharp/ decent enough. Neverthless, I think it says alot about how Filipinos manage to create happiness, no matter the circumstances.
One thing I've often heard foreigners say is that Filipinos are such happy people, and that when we're together, we're always laughing. It's true. Haven't studies and surveys shown that Filipinos are the happiest people in the world?
The mangroves of Puerto Prinsesa
The mangroves of Palawan are one of the most beautiful places I have ever seen. Forming where rivers meet the ocean, mangroves are special places with unique ecosystems. I'm no biologist, but they fascinate me to no end. I could go exploring forever.
I always say that Boracay is where you go to stay up all night to drink and party; whereas Palawan is where you wake up at 4:30 am because you want to see the sun rising over the lagoon and the sea turtles going out for a morning swim. Once, during a stay in El Nido, we set out on a small boat at the most ungodly hour of the morning to catch thousands of white tern flock to the pandan trees at sunrise. It was breath-taking, and I really wouldn't mind spending months doing that kind of thing. Thank goodness the government has the smarts to declare it a preserved area.
One of Palawan's signature limestone islands.
Palawan's craggy limestone cliffs are like a living poem. Sometimes the ocean there is so smooth, it's almost like glass. In the noontime, the turqoiuse ripples have lilac undertones. It's one of my favorite places on earth.
Isang katutak na santo!- A bevy of saints in an old, ancestral house in Bacolod.
I learned somewhere that our Catholic rituals intersect with our pagan roots. Our love for religious icons comes from our belief in anito, spirits of our ancestors that dwell in trees, rocks, and wooden carvings called bul-ol. We were Christianized, but perhaps our tribal approaches to religion remain the same. (Speaking of which, please visit Howie Severino's blog and catch this feature on "Lola's with Phalluses" on GMA tomorrow. And tell me all about it because I can't watch it from here :-()
One thing I wish our schools would focus more on is our pre-Hispanic history, culture, and mythologies. Any educated Filipino can go on and on about Rizal, the KKK, Noli, Fili, the oppression of the Spaniards, the Americans, then the Japanese, and so forth. Ok, ok, we get it, we were cowed for a good 300+ years, we know it.
Now, can't we focus more on what we had before it all happened? There's very little written history about it, but these are our roots, the underlying thread of our culture. How long will our identity and consciousness bear scars from the past? In order to heal, it's important to stress that we weren't always victims, that we were once a free people with a highly developed culture and society that included a form of government, organized trade, a religion, music and dance, textiles, an alphabet, etc.
Don't get me wrong, I think it's wonderful that we've managed to inculturate so many foreign elements and have made them "ours". I just think it'd help to know more about what we had to begin with. It seems like a big mystery to most people.
Maskara dancers!
I have yet to see the real Maskara Festival.
Pasko! A bibingka stall outside midnight mass in Ateneo
To me, Christmas is queso de bola, parol (star lanterns), simbang gabi, and 2 million relatives coming over to our house for the noche buena (don't forget to kiss all the titos and titas when the clock strikes 12!).
Papa feeds baby in the palengke- Boracay
I love the hustle and bustle of our markets. It's just buzzing with so much movement and color! One thing I really miss are the cheap Pinoy breads, like monay, pan de regla, etc., that you can buy in small bakeries for 50 centavos each (or has the price gone up? :-p). Saraaaap!
The quintessential Boracay sunset shot.
So what if it's noisy and crowded? It's beautiful, that's what it is.
Why am I writing all this? I don't know. Maybe it's because I feel that despite my homeland being crowded, chaotic, and corrupt, it sure breathes with life. Sometimes, this place gets a bit sterile.
edited: Somebody commented that the world "sterile" was a bit harsh. True, I guess. I meant it to mean "unstimulating". Maybe I should make it clear that I'm not referring to all of Oz, but only to my own quasi-existence, in my middle-of-nowhere life, in my boring, Pleasantville suburb that is 2 million miles away from music and things I love. I can see myself really loving it here eventually. But it takes time to sink in your roots in a new place. Getting there.
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Wednesday, May 17, 2006
picking up the pen again
Why is it that I am most inspired to draw during periods of difficult adjustment, or when I don't really have time to draw? I've been staying up late the past few weeks making these, but the headaches and dark under eye circles are worth the fullfillment of creating something you love.
Here are very reduced versions of the products of my past 3 weeks of puyat.
"Feral"
"Myself"
"Love Embrace" (click to see a bigger version)
I've been in a sort of creative rut the past few years where I hated everything I drew before it was even finished, and I couldn't comlete anything I started. Being here helps me break out of that cycle. I love what I draw, draw what I love, and just draw, draw, draw for the love it. The first time I really felt this way was when I was 7 years old.
And now I'm dreaming of having one of these:
That's me drawing on a Wacomm Cintiq at Cebit last week. You draw right on the screen and it is so woooooooow!!! (drools)
It also costs 4,000 plus dollars, but a geek can dream. :-)never lonely
One thing about being here is that it hasn't been too lonely. I do miss having good friends, the type who'll drop by your house unanounced, take of their shoes/ bra (girlfriends do this when they feel comfortable in each other's houses), head straight for the fridge, stay for dinner, gobble up our dessert, and stay over so late that they eventually just sleep over... wearing one of your favorite, comfy t-shirts at that.
But then there are new friends. :-) I've met more people than I ever expected I would during my first few months here, and they've all been lovely people. The other night, we had 8 guests over for dinner. They made the hour and half trip here from the city, stayed laughing rowdily till 2 am, left us with 2 hours worth of dishwashing, and the dirtiest kitchen floor ever. But for the first time, our house felt like home, and even a bit like our old house in Manila where we had good friends over everyday (it was everyone's house, and it was always full). It made me happy having everyone there, squeezed into our dining table.
We've also had a slew of relatives visiting from Manila, the US, and Davao. I love having them here, even though it means sharing a room with my sister and Dada (both of them snore!!!). Then there was Nino of course :-) :-) :-)
Relationships seem so much more important when you're away from your friends. In Manila, I normally would never have a reason to hang out with the types of people I've made friends with here, just because we don't run in the same crowd or circle, and have completely different interests. But all that doesn't matter here. I never imagined I would meet these people here.
Isn't the universe so full of wonderful surprises?faith, hope, and love
Today Nino got on a plane and flew off into an uncertain future. But whatever happens, whatever it is the future holds, I'm happy that my life here has been colored by such a beautiful soul.
"And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." -St. Paul
Right now I draw strength from these words.
Even the walls of this house miss you, Nin
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Monday, May 08, 2006
nami-miss ko mag-Tagalog
Talagang nakakatawa ang bansang Australia.
Ang lugar na "King's Cross", na pinagmamalaki nilang "red light district", ay kasing ganda parin ng mga pinaka-"in" na lugar sa Makati. Habang naglalakad kami ni Nino sa harap ng bar doon nung isang gabi ay inimbita kami ng isang bouncer/receptionist na manood ng "live show". Bestida ang kanyang suot, suit and tie, sapatos na mamahalin, at naka-pomada pa ang buhok. Tawang-tawa kami ni Nino kasi sa Pilipinas, yung mga receptionist ng mga ganyang klaseng lugar ay kadalasang nakasuot lang ng shorts na kupas, sandong punit-punit, at tsinelas. Iyan ang red-light district!
Mastanggap dito kaysa sa 'Pinas ang maging "call-girl" (pwede mo pa ngang i-advertise ang iyong mga "services" sa yellow pages, o sa dyaryong binabasa ng buong pamilya), okay lang ang magpa-abort ng bata, at legal ang drogang heroine. Kung adik, ka bibigyan ka pa nga ng gobyerno ng methadone, isang kemikal na parehong-pareho ang epekto sa heroine pwera lang sa pagnanais na maging bayolente at basagulero. Ngunit, sa halip ng lahat niyan ay di mo pwedeng saktan ang isang magnanakaw o kriminal na nakapasok sa bahay mo. Pwede ka niyang idemanda, at baka ikaw pa ang mauna sa kulungan.
Disiplinado ang mga Australyano, oo. Pero hindi sila marunong mag-lasing. Kung minsa'y gumimmick ka dito ay makikita mo silang sumusuka-suka kung saan-saan. Sa 'Pinas, e 12 years old palang ang bata, marunong nang uminom!
Ang mga pinaka-kawawa ay sila rin ang pinaka-swerte dito, dahil sila ang nakakakuha ng pinakamaraming pera mula sa gobyerno.
Single mother ka ba? May allowance ka. Walang trabaho? Allowance. Low self-esteem? Allowance (loko lang). Naputulan ka ba ng paa? May benefits ka diyan, pare. Gurang? Pati ang pagiging matanda ay dahilan para bigyan ka ng pera. (Sa 'Pinas, kung kawawa ka, kawawa ka lang talaga)
Paano nila ito nagagawa?
Noong isang araw, lumabas sa balita na ng budget ng gobyernong Australyano para sa 2006 ay sumobra ng mga 14 million AUD. Ibig sabihin niyan ay may labing-apat na milyong dolyares ang gobyerno na pwede lang nilang paglarularuan at gamitin para sa pag-gawa ng mga bagong "round-about" sa mga kalye nila.
Nakakalula diba?
Talagang nakakatuwa ang bansang Australia.
[edited: May nagsabi na mali daw ang bilang ko ng pagsosobra ng Australian budget, at mali daw ang tinutukoy ko. Di ko gaanong maintindihan. Pero nakuha niyo naman ang puntong gusto kong iparating- na mayaman na mayaman sila.]mga litrato mula sa huling linggo
Siyota ko ang bago naming hardinero.
Si Manong Nino
Sa Sydney Aquarium.
Dalawang Ananda yata ang kasya sa loob ng pating na iyan.
Kaming dalawa ng utol ko, nagpo-poi.
Ang yabang ng lokasyon, noh?
Tag-lagas na.
Lubos akong nabighani sa mga dahong pula. Walang ganyan sa 'Pinas.wala akong pakialam
Hindi an ako VJ, hindi na ako model, hindi na ako endorser ng kung ano-ano, hindi ko na kailangan magpaka-normal, magpa-ganda, magpaka-"clean image", at magpa-cute. Pwede na akong magpaka-hepe.
In short, wala na akong dahilan para hindi toh gawin.
I lab it I lab it I lab it. Wala akong pagsisisi.
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