Thursday, March 29, 2007
an extra fashionable rummage sale in our backyard
Attention, everybody! Yes, you! If you are from Sydney, read on!
Vintage dresses, cute tops, fab accessories, and cool graphic bags all from 'Peace Joe'!
This Saturday and Sunday, get ready to do some serious shopping!
WHAT: Vintage clothes to die for, graphic bags, belts and accessories, plus lots more.
WHEN: This Saturday and Sunday (March 31-April 1) from 10 am until 6 pm.
WHERE: For more info, please e-mail Erica at joegirls@gmail.com or SMS her at 0404366491 (we don't want to put our address up on the internet).
Great stuff just waiting for their rightful owners!
Check out peacejoe.multiply.com
Spread the love! See you then!
PEACE, JOES!
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Wednesday, March 14, 2007
one year anniversary
This was me at the airport with my mom and dad last March 14, 2006 the day I left for Australia. This was me before I boarded the plane that would fly me into the unknown.I don't know why I bothered to force a smile when this pic was taken. I had been sobbing all week, was physically and emotionally exhausted from packing my luggage, and the thousand and one tearful goodbyes I had to make.
To me, the day I left was a funeral. It was the death of my childhood, the death of my old life, and the death of an old order that I knew I would never be able to bring back ever again. On the way to airport, I felt the same way I felt when I watched my grandmother's casket being lowered into the ground, the same jolting sense of finality when I realized I was staring at her face for the last time. Exactly a year ago, I ended the life I had always known.
One year, and 15 pounds later...
They say that people look better when they're happy and smiling. I beg to differ. I think all the ugliest moments of my life are the ones when I was happiest. Just look at this.
This is hands-down the ugliest picture of me in existence. That is why I had to share it.What is that? Why does my mouth look like that when I'm laughing? I look like a crazy person.
Wow, how much has changed since then? Well for one, I've gained 15 lbs, and have also lost about ten inches of hair. A year ago, when I was going through my dark night of the soul, I couldn't imagine ever feeling as happy as I look in these photos. And when I left for Australia, never did I dream of the people who are now a part of my life. Never did I even dream these people existed!
And never did I imagine I would change in the ways I have. Here are the things I've learned that have made the biggest difference.
1) I am allowed to change as much as I want to.Before I left, alot of people told me to "never change". This meant different things from many different people. To some, it meant to hold on to my values and principles, keep my feet on the ground, and to basically continue being the same Ala they've always known. To others, it meant to please don't ever start talking/ acting/ thinking like an Australian; because I am a Filipino, and therefore expected to uphold my national pride, and do things for the greater glory of my country wherever I go, forever.2) Learn, unlearn, relearn.
Well, I've probably disappointed both camps by now. Values and principles? Alot them have changed since then as I explore the side of myself that I was too afraid to get to know before. I've changed, and I know not everybody agrees with certain decisions I've made here, but it's the only way I'll ever know who I am.
National pride? I'll always be proud of being Filipino, but I also know that sometimes it really doesn't matter at all what I am. I can become more Australian without becoming any less Filipino. And nationality aside, there are much deeper dimensions to my person than my nationality or my cultural background. There is also absolutely nothing wrong with letting this new world in. So what if my accent changes? So what if I adapt? Why shouldn't I change? Wouldn't it be a terrible loss for me if I never allowed my life and my experiences to change me?
I set the boundaries of who I am, and just as I create my own labels for myself, I can break them as well. I've changed in ways I never though I would, and I like it.It's a liberating experience to know nothing, to live in the present; to trust that, in life's everyday challenges, the knowledge you need will present itself to you as needed.3) I set the tone of how other people relate to me.
It's wonderful feeling to be able to admit to yourself that you know nothing; and to accept you know nothing is the first step to true learning.If I'm comfortable with being different, then everyone else will be comfortable with my being different. Just because I don't fit in, it doesn't mean people can't accept me.4) Discrimination will not hurt you if you don't carry the discrimination within yourself.
Speaking of being diffferent, one of the most frequently asked questions I get is if I've experienced any "racism" here. But I know that what they really want to know is if they are likely to experience it as well.
My answer is always...It was Nietzsche who said "When you stare into the abyss, the abyss also stares back into you." The only reason why an untrue remark would hurt you is if you haven't dealt with your own personal doubts.5) That nothing will happen to you if you just sit there.
Well ok, I have had a few mildy offensive, politically incorrect remarks thrown my way about being Filipino; and admittedly, my initial feeling is one of anger. But in the end, it's nothing I can't handle, and really, how can I seriously invest my energy in people who are clearly ignorant, and don't know what they're talking about? I always feel that what they say speaks so much more of them than it does of me, so... why stress?This is an extremely obvious fact, yet it's amazing how many people sit around dreaming of the day their life will begin, while life continues slipping past them.6) That I can regenerate everything I lost...
Courage is a muscle you have to continuously and consciously strengthen. You must do something you're afraid to do at least once a week. You can start with the small things (the smaller "weights" so to speak), so that you'll be ready for the big things.
You've gotta keep moving, moving, moving.... and that I will never lose the things that we're real and true to begin with. The friends I've left behind are still my friends. I may have lost alot of things when I moved, but I never lost my laughter, and I didn't lose my love for life. And I've attracted new friends, and I've made a new life, and now I can say that I have had the pleasure of being part of two wonderful worlds: the Philippines, and Australia!
So, March 15 is my first year anniversary in Australia, and I want to celebrate!!! It may be an ordinary day to most, but I feel like I'm being awarded the Nobel Prize. :-)
I'm happy.Ithaca
by C. Cavafy
As you set out on your journey to Ithaca
pray that the road is long,
full of adventure, full of knowledge.
The Lestrygonians and the Cyclops,
the angry Poseidon -- do not fear them:
You will never find such as these on your path,
if your thoughts remain lofty, if a fine
emotion touches your spirit and your body.
The Lestrygonians and the Cyclops,
the fierce Poseidon you will never encounter,
if you do not carry them within your soul,
if your soul does not set them up before you.
Pray that the road is long.
That the summer mornings are many, when,
with such pleasure, with such joy
you will enter ports seen for the first time;
stop at Phoenician markets,
and purchase fine merchandise,
mother-of-pearl and coral, amber and ebony,
and sensual perfumes of all kinds,
as many sensual perfumes as you can;
visit many Egyptian cities,
to learn and learn from scholars.
Always keep Ithaca in your mind.
To arrive there is your ultimate goal.
But do not hurry the voyage at all.
It is better to let it last for many years;
and to anchor at the island when you are old,
rich with all you have gained on the way,
not expecting that Ithaca will offer you riches.
Ithaca has given you the beautiful voyage.
Without her you would have never set out on the road.
She has nothing more to give you.
And if you find her poor, Ithaca has not deceived you.
Wise as you have become, with so much experience,
you must already have understood what Ithacas mean.
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Sunday, March 04, 2007
viva la woman!
March 8 is International Women's day, and this is my chance to put the spotlight on some women whom I feel deserve props for what they've accomplished the past few years, or who have been my inspiration, for whatever reason, whether or not they know it. Here goes, in no particular order.
Jenn and I have seen each other through all our transformations since we were 9 years old; from the days when we still played with Barbie dolls, to our high school days when we did everything together, had the same friends, and even dressed in matching outfits, to our confused college years when we both decided we wanted to grow as individual persons. Recently, it's been amazing watching my best friend of 15 years make that transformation into a full-fledged woman, wife, and giver of life with the birth of her beautiful son, my inaanak, Andy. I saw this proud, independent person gracefully cast aside the all the pettiness and selfishness of youth in order to become a person worthy and capable of being completely responsible for someone else. They say you learn the meaning of selflessness and unconditional love only when you become a mother. It is beautiful to see this new, loving dimension of someone I've known all my life.
Katwo rocks. She oozes awesomeness. I want to steal her life. She's always been creative, and gutsy, and a very different thinker even during our high school days. You probably know her as the vocalist of the band, Narda. She will be an icon one day (if she isn't one already), and is one of those women whose life and achievements other people excitedly anticipate; because she doesn't pattern her life after anyone else's, which is something I have always admired and envied. Katwo defies convention. (Note: I stole this picture off the band's Myspace. To whoever took the shot, I'm asking for your delayed permission to use it).
Last year, my mom became a "Golden Girl", a proud woman of 50! Amazing how half a century can change someone. Of course, I haven't known my ma all her life, and children don't really become aware that their mothers are real people until they're older. I first realized this when I saw my ma help my grandmother die. She stayed by my grandma's side, holding her hand every step of the way as she battled cancer during her final months, an experience that took an incredible amount of strength and a very firm spirituality. It was a harrowing experience for her, and I saw my mom change radically in the span of a few months. Her face was that of a soldier returning from a fierce battle. A few years after my grandma's death, she discovered that she was dealt that experience in order to prepare her for her own battle against breast cancer, which she also overcame. The most recent trial she's had to overcome is our move to Australia, which is an experience we are still going through. Nevertheless, here's to a woman of 50 years with many more to come! And I hope I look as young as she does when I'm 50.
Kristine is a standout anywhere she goes. She'll kill you with her charisma, creativity, and talent. We share many common bonds. We were partners in crime in high school, were both in the Drama club for 3 years, listened to the same music during our teenage years, sang in the same band (well, for awhile), and wrote each other letters every single day of high school, even when we were seatmates (I still have all of them in a sack somewhere). Last year, we both migrated, I to Australia, and she to Singapore. I think what I have to say about her sums it up with this message for her: Girl, we did it. I'm proud of you, and I'm proud of us. We've taken true control of our lives, and for the first time, we've made our own big decisions. We went through our dark night but found happiness at the end of it- a completely different kind from the kind we used to know. We made it! Here's to life!
Because despite being a single mom, she's doing a great job raising Ananda (my niece, whom she is embracing in the picture), because she's got the special talent of bringing out the beauty in other women through her make-up skills, and because she's been incredibly resourceful this year with starting her own fashion brand, Peace Joe! Aycs has truly and finally come into her own as a make-up artist, and she has never failed to make any woman smile with the magic of her make-up brush. She's made brides beautiful on their wedding days, models look glamorous in magazines, and she's made me look great on perfectly ordinary days as well. She's on a roll! To my sister, Aycs, whose is known to be unusually headstrong, unusually generous, and always manages to pull through, despite what everyone else says!
Maan sails the seas for months on end saving whales, and oceans, and the climate. She's been to many countries on a mission, and has crossed many different timezones on a ship. She's an environmental activist for Greenpeace.
I would rank her among the top 10 sexiest women I know. She's large, sensual, and sexy, and puts all of us stick-skinny types to shame. She's got delicious, brown, Filipina skin, and she's all woman!- which is proof that sexiness isn't all about what size you wear. I hope 2007 lets her sail many more seas.
I met Mel here in Sydney, and though she's moved back to Manila, she's my idol for several reasons (well, aside from her being strong, and smart, and a survivor who has rebuilt herself after the emotional calamities life has thrown her way, and all those other things that have already been said about her):1) She once got into a swanky, Sydney club for free because she went up to the bouncer and told him she didn't want to pay. She also got all of us in for free, too, and we didn't have to stand in line, either. I don't know how she did it. All I heard the bouncer tell her was, "You're too beautiful to pay".
2) She once got a free ride on a Sydney bus because the conductor thought she was pretty.
3) Because even though she claims she can't compete with the fair-skinned, mestiza girls that Filipinos go crazy over, when she's in other countries, foreign men have repeatedly told her that she is the most exoticly beautiful woman alive.
4) She has great legs. And a nice tan.
And so, thanks to Mel, my new goal as a Pinay in a foreign country is to learn how to use my womanly charms, and foreign looks (and my legs :-p) to be able to get into clubs for free, and dodge bus fares. Heck, women we're created the more beautiful gender for a reason... for free entry into nice places! And hey, we're all young and gorgeous only once, so we better learn to use what we've got. ;-) Hail to Mel!
My cousin Chini's life story is nothing short of amazing. Before I moved to Australia and met her, I had no idea she even existed. With an aura so positive, and a personality so bubbly and vibrant, you would never guess that she lost her husband only a year ago when a aneurism rendered him comatose for a few months before finally claiming his life. Before he passed away, she devoted her life to caring for him in his comatose state, all the while caring for their 3 young children whom she is now raising on her own. All that, and she's only 28. This woman has been through ALOT- alot of grief, struggle, pain, loneliness, and suffering; but it has only succeeded in helping her discover an intense, internal acceptance and trust in the universe. Chini is the most positive and hopeful person I know, not just a survivor but a thriver. Alot of people (including me) like to complain how miserable their lives are over such petty, little problems. Chini has had so much taken away from her and yet has managed to emerge without losing her laughter and her love for life. I have never heard her complain about life- ever!- and always mentions all the things she is thankful for. Here is a tribute to someone who is strong and beautiful in body and spirit.
My cousin Pimee is queer. She likes it and she wants you to know it. Furthermore, she thought about it long and hard, and is quite sure of who she is. This is only one of the many reasons why I love her of course. She's always been her own person, and if tomorrow she anounces that she wants to subscribe to some radical, new religion, I'll support her because I know she knows what she's doing. Whatever she chooses to be, she will probably still be one of the coolest people I know.
You have no idea how glad I am that we live in the same country (she is currently a Music Major at Macquarie Univerisity). She is tatooed, positive, playful, free, wise beyond her years, the former bassist of the The Dorques, and one of my most favorite people. You only live once, so let your rainbow (or whoever you are) shine through. Viva la woman!
And to the other wonderful women in my life, my aunties, my cousins, my girlfriends both here and back home, this is a tribute to you, too!terno
Last week, I had the chance to wear my grandma's 50 year old terno for a terno ball. It was great putting on some old-world glamour. And I'm always proud to wear my lola's old dresses.
This one is a true gem. It's so old, that it's been restored, and should be kept in a glass case.
More pictures here.finding my sales-legs
Sailors like to use the term "finding your sea legs" to refer to the moment when you overcome seasickness and get used to the sensation of being on sea-borne ship. Well, I think I've found my "sales-legs". From selling only two newspaper subscriptions last week, I managed to sell about thirty in the span of three days last week.
Now how about that, eh??? I think I may be on to something.
Here I am doing promotions work, being one of those people whom passersby try ignore, or brush off, or avoid eye-contact with; and I'm proud because even though I can always go back to the Philippines and make an easy living modeling and hosting, I know I can work in promotions in a foreign country and do a good job. And it feels good to know that. I'm making a living!
To those of you who shared your stories of struggle with me in my previous entry, maraming salamat. Many of them made me me laugh, and all of them filled me with sympathy and admiration. Thank you for sharing with me the gift of your life's experiences.following the rainbow!
Nakakapagod yung Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras!
I came in costume. I wore a black, lacy, satin, lingerie top, and a frilly, black skirt, so short that you could see where my hot pink, fish net pull-ups began at my thighs. I wore black flats, lots of chains around my neck, a pair of battery-operated, blinking devil horns, and a pair of batwings.
Henry was pretty horified when he had to ride the train with me looking like that, and when we were waiting outside Newtown station, an old man and an old woman passed right by me and shot me a look of absolute disgust. I can imagine what they were thinking : "Lesbian! Tssss." Hahaha!
Correction: I am gay man trapped inside a woman's body. I like men. But I also like sequins, glitter, and gay icons, and I get along too well with gay men. I have a good amount of gay friends whom I love very much. Babaeng bakla, or fag hag if you wish. That's me.
Three Filipino tourists recognized me and called out my name. Damn! There I was thinking about how much I loved the anonymity that allowed to step out of my house dressed as a little, slutty Satan to celebrate with the queer masses. I wasn't actually counting on anyone recognizing me.
As soon as we got to the parade area though, it became clear that I was one of the far less extreme ones as compared to the topless women wearing nothing but body paint, and a small panyo-sized cloth tied around their loins.
No I didn't get any pics, at least not good ones. Too crowded, and it was getting dark. I figure the internet will be sprinkled with photos anyway. After all, isn't Sydney's Gay and lesbian Mardi Gras the world's biggest gay celebration? I did however get loads of awesome footage on my DV cam which I will YouTube when I buy a firewire cable.
The floats/ marchers I liked best we're the simple ones who had very strong, touching messages, as opposed to the ones that we're centered on glitter and glam (although I liked those, too, of course). There were a group of marchers that kept chanting a song about a happy family, gay men and women who had their children in tow, and pushing them in strollers which I thought was very moving. No costumes or sequins or loud music, just a group of gay men and women with their happy families.
There was also a group that carried a sign that said "Jesus loves us", which made me cry. The message was simple and pure. Imagine being told that you are unworthy of God's love, or that you're not allowed to practice your religion because of your sexual orientation?
The floats were fantastic, pero nakakapagod. Too many people. Too bad I left before I saw the "Filipino-Australian Gay Society" march. I heard they were dressed as Maria Clara, and were waving the Philippine flag.
Isn't it something to ponder how homosexuality has existed since the very beginning of humanity, and still they struggle to make everyone understand them and find acceptance in this world?Labels: woman mardi gras gay lesbian sales terno
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